Labyrinth
by ironheart329
Summary: Alucard is thrilled to have a new toy when Master adopts Richard's orphaned daughter! Rowena is to be his master, but can she handle the vampire despite his games and her own crippled state? Or will she succumb? Ch 16 up!
1. Frisches Blut

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing, but I do own Rowena. This is not your average OC meets Alucard plot. You have been warned: A FLAWED OC is on the way! ALSO, note that this has been recently edited - a thematic change has taken place and all chapter titles are in German. I will add translations of all chapter titles up to chapter 9 here. From there on out, all chapter titles will be translated at the beginning of each.

Chapter 1: Fresh Blood

Alucard sat in the darkness, only his glowing eyes giving away his presence. He remained deathly still, concentrating closely on the other residents of the Hellsing manor. Something was amiss. Master was more nervous than usual, pacing laps in her office. Walter was buzzing about an empty corridor, carrying things into one of the many spare rooms. Seras was even awake, and it was daytime. She was in her room, seemingly… changing clothes. He could feel everyone buzzing with tension. It was as if the air was electrified. The Midian could take it no longer. He stood, vanishing down the long corridor.

Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing was pacing around and around her desk, stopping every once in a while to check her watch. At one point, she gazed at it, sighed, tapped it, and finally gave it an anxious shake. "She's due any minute now. I'd better call-"

But her thought was interrupted by a head that suddenly popped through the top of her desk. She gave a slight jolt, and her servant let out a loud, boisterous laugh. Integra clenched her fists.

"ALUCARD!" she snapped at him. He chuckled, slipping the rest of the way through and taking a seat atop a large stack of papers.

"To think after all these years, I can still scare you." His comment received an icy glare, but otherwise, his master pretended not to hear him.

"Listen well, Servant." She said stiffly, reining him in, "We have a new resident arriving at the manor today. She is due to arrive very soon now." Alucard flashed a small grin, which went unnoticed by Integra. "Under no circumstances are you allowed to interfere with her. Do I make myself clear?"

"Interfere? Why whatever do you mean, my Master?" He gave her a grin full of false innocence. Integra's eye twitched. She leaned very close to him.

"You know damn well what I mean! If you so much as lay a finger on her, I'll behead you before you can blink." Alucard gave her a small bow, acknowledging her words, then quickly disappeared from sight.

In the hallway beyond, Walter scuttled about, enlisting the help of random Wild Geese in tidying up the place. When he felt the last few things were in place, he turned and headed for the front doors. He swung the double doors out and open, stepping out to view the drive. Through the morning mist, he could see a black Mercedes had just passed through the front gate. The escorts were back with the guest.

In the slightly darker entry hall, a misty shadow took shape, slinking up to the very threshold. It slowly rose and took on the vague shape of a man. Walter was too busy watching the car come down the drive, and he was already at the bottom of the steps. The car slowed to a stop before him, and he opened the back door. The shadow watched with piercing red eyes as from the shadows in the back of the car, clambered a little girl. She was very pale and incredibly thin, almost like a little skeleton with waxen skin stretched snugly over its bones. She looked terribly frail, and around her spindly legs were heavy metal braces. They reached from her thighs to the bottoms of her shoes. As she was helped from the car, she wavered on her feet. Walter steadied her, and an escort produced two small metal crutches from the trunk. He handed them to her, and she strapped the little things to her wrists. Walter let her go, and with a sigh of effort, she found stable footing.

The little girl watched and waited as the escorts and Walter grabbed her things from the trunk, brushing a wispy black lock out of her eyes with a spidery finger. Then she turned to make her way up the steps when she spotted Alucard's ever shifting form in the doorway. She gave a little squeak, turning back to Walter, who was approaching with two extremely heavy-looking bags. With a sharp grin, Alucard disappeared.

"Who's he?" She looked at Walter, pointing where Alucard had stood only seconds before.

"Who?" Walter cocked an eyebrow at her.

"He was there a second ago." Walter gave a knowing laugh.

"Oh… don't worry, you'll meet him soon enough." He and the escorts passed her, starting up the steps. "Come along, now. Sir Hellsing awaits you, Miss Rowena." The little girl nodded, tentatively starting up the steps.

She moved painfully slowly, taking the steps one at a time to compensate for her weak legs. She ambled across the entry hall and followed Walter to her room. By the time they reached it, she was quite exhausted. With a grunt of exertion, she lifted her listless legs onto her bed. Walter and the other two set down her bags, and the former dismissed the latter with a wave of the hand. They went off to put the car in the garage.

Walter sat next to Rowena on the bed. "I bet you're tired. It was a long trip, wasn't it, Miss?" The black-haired child nodded, laying down with a deep sigh. She gave Walter a grateful smile.

"I'm so glad you found me when you did. With mother dead… I had no one else to turn to. Please tell Sir Hellsing how much I thank her." With a soft smile, she added, "And I can't forget you, sir. If it hadn't been for you, Sir Integral wouldn't have even known about me."

"You're welcome, Miss, but I was only doing as Sir Hellsing bade me." He stood. Rowena looked at him questioningly. "You'll find out when you meet her." He headed for the door, but turned and stopped in the doorway. "Right then, come along. Sir Integral is waiting in her office for you." The small girl sat up with a groan of exhaustion. She scrambled back to her feet and followed the Angel of Death down the corridor, struggling clumsily several paces behind. He kept a brisk pace.

She finally reached the door of Sir Hellsing's office, completely winded. Walter pushed open the door, and strode in ahead of her. "My lady, Miss Rowena is here."

A stern voice called, "Do come in, my dear." Suddenly, the door was opened and she gazed into a huge office, with only a desk at the far end. At the desk sat a very authoritative-looking woman, with tannish skin and platinum blonde hair. Behind circular glasses, a pair of piercing blue eyes appraised Rowena. There was already a chair before the desk for her. She nervously plodded up to the desk, the rubber bottoms of her crutches making a bit of a squeak on the tiled floor. She stood before the huge desk, uncomfortable in Integra's hawklike gaze.

The Master of Monster stood, walking around the desk almost lazily. She stopped right before the young girl, a smile gracing her lips. "Rowena Lucent Hellsing. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, cousin." She took Rowena's hand and shook it, then, still holding her hand, pulled her into a hug. Rowena held her arms nervously at her sides, relieved when the stern older woman let her go.

"If I may ask, what made you decide to adopt me, Integral?" Rowena said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know what my father attempted to do to you… so why would you want to take care of me?"

"What Lord Richard did… tried to do… has nothing to do with you. I would do anything to help out my own flesh and blood." She led Rowena over to a chair and bid her sit. "I know that medical bills since your accident last year have been astronomical. Your mother couldn't handle the pressure." The little girl tensed painfully, her eyes burning with unshed tears. "And that's why she abandoned you." Integra put a hand on Rowena's head, ruffling her hair gently. "But that's where I come in. I have the time, the money, but most importantly, the heart, to take care of you. And when I pass on, the Hellsing inheritance will be yours." Rowena gave her an astonished look.

"That brings me to another important issue. Do you know what the Hellsing inheritance includes? What it entails?" The blond woman's face flashed with pride. As she watched the young lady with interest before her, there was a shift in the shadows against the far wall.

"The Hellsing family have been monster hunters and protectors of the Protestant Church and the Crown for over one hundred years." Rowena recited, as if it had been drilled into her at an early age. "The Hellsing Inheritance is handed down to the eldest member of each successive generation, whether they are male or female. That individual becomes the 'Sir Hellsing'." Integra grinned.

"And that is precisely why I have brought you here, young lady. You are next in line to become Sir Hellsing." She paused, letting that sink in. "You will have many weapons at your disposal, the greatest of which you are about to meet." She turned and called down the hall, "AAALUUUUCAAAARD!"

Heavy footsteps resounded down the hall. Rowena felt a chill run up her spine. Something powerful was making its way towards the room, she could feel it. The young lady turned in her seat just in time to see the door swing open and a huge dark figure stride in. Rowena's breath caught in her throat as the tall man captured her green gaze in his red one. He gave a devious chuckle as he strode over to the two women, and dipped into a low bow before his Master.

"You shouted, my Master?" Integra huffed.

"Alucard, I would like you to meet my cousin, Rowena Lucent Hellsing." She turned to her cousin. "Rowena, this is my Servant, the nosferatu Alucard." Rowena went wide-eyed, staring at the Midian almost stupidly. He laughed, leaning in close to her face.

"Could it be? Are you really the child of that foul man?" He began to reach for her chin, but Integra's warning growl stopped him.

"Don't even think about it, Alucard. You are to give her the same respect and protection that you gave me at her age. She will be your Master when I retire." Alucard nodded, standing and patting Rowena's head gently. "As you wish, Master." He gave her a mocking sneer. "Is there anything else you wish of me?"

"No, that is all. You may go, Alucard." She dismissed him with a wave of her hand. Rowena's gaze trailed oddly after him. She continued to gaze blankly at the door even after he was gone. "Rowena." Integra said curtly. After she received no response, she snapped a bit louder, "ROWENA!" The black-haired child jumped, pulled suddenly from her daze.

"Ah- yes…. What is it, Integral, m'am?" She fiddled with the ends of her hair nervously in her lap. Integra sighed deeply.

"I have an issue I must address regarding your impending inheritance of the leadership of Hellsing. Do you know what is required to keep Alucard under control?" Rowena shook her head. "In order to keep Alucard under my control, I must have blood drawn once a year so that he may drink it. Part of the pact that binds him is that he receives Hellsing blood in return for his loyalty." Rowena gasped. Integra smiled, rumpling Rowena's hair. "Think of it. You'll become Sir Hellsing soon. You'll be the one donating almost two pints of blood, only to watch him greedily guzzle it down. A pleasant thought, no?" She punctuated her speech with a harsh laugh, dragging herself behind her desk and almost flopping into her chair. Rowena turned and glanced at her with concern.

"Are you alright, Integral?" Her blonde cousin replied with a dejected shake of her head.

"Leading the Hellsing Organization is a heavy burden, my dear. I've found over the past ten years, Alucard seems to require more blood each and every year. And even then, he becomes more difficult to control. The time for donating my blood is nearing. I don't know if I can donate the large amount of blood it requires and still run Hellsing and control Alucard. It takes weeks to recover from the donation." Rowena sat silently for a few moments, lost in thought.

"Maybe you don't have to donate quite so much blood by yourself." Rowena struggled to her feet, her braces clacking and crutches groaning under her weight. "We can both donate a pint."

Integral's eyes lit up. "Yes, and we could slowly start weaning Alucard off of my blood and onto yours. I'm not certain I will be Sir Hellsing for much longer. I must start training you for the job." She stood and strode over to Rowena with new resolve. She put an arm about her shoulder and led her over to the doorway. "We'll discuss it more over dinner, possibly. That is, if I am free at that point. I have a number of phone calls to make." She gave her cousin a polite nod and shut the door.

Rowena was left standing in the dim hallway. With a soft pleased chuckle, she began to make her way down the hall. She had no idea where her room was from here, and she was dead tired, but she was still curious about the mansion. So she ignored the throbbing ache that slowly spread from her ankles to her hips, and continued on her way.

She turned down a side hall, past dark doorways and dim stairwells. The passage branched off in a number of directions, and Rowena picked a random hall and continued down it. This one seemed to slant downward and it grew darker as it went. Rowena suddenly found herself descending stairs, with a bit of difficulty, considering her weak legs and the complete darkness. Her breath came heavily after a short while, and as far as she could tell, there were still an infinite number of steps ahead of her. She was about to turn and begin her way back towards the faint square of light behind her, when a pair of crimson eyes appeared suddenly out of nowhere, only inches from her face. She gave a startled squeal and lost her balance, toppling down the stairs.

Her crutches were flung from her hands as she went heels over crown down the dark stairwell. She shrieked in pain at each impact with the cold stone steps. She could feel the tight scar tissue-riddled flesh of her legs pulling painfully beneath her metal braces. When she finally came to a stop, she was still perched precariously across several steps, and the faint smell of blood assailed her nostrils. She moaned, rubbing her poor abused skull, and attempted to sit up. Of course, her crutches were nowhere in sight. Not that anything was. She looked around pathetically for some way to get off of the floor, and even attempted to put her legs beneath her on her own. The smell of blood grew stronger as she tried to move her legs, and the pain sharply increased. She slumped back against the wall pathetically, giving up her fruitless struggle. Her legs were much too weak to support her on their own, and in this darkness, god knows how badly she'd wounded them.

She suddenly felt another presence and then saw the two blazing red eyes again. Alucard's grin shined out of the darkness at her. She tensed in fear. A vampire… and here she was, practically bathed in blood. He leaned closer. She half expected him to bite her right there. But he said nothing, scooping her into his arms.

T-T: I hope you've enjoyed this. More goodness follows.

Chapter Translations:

CH 2: It was only an Accident!

CH 3: Miracle

CH 4: Dance with Death

CH 5: Deal with the Devil

CH 6: Suicide and Guilt

CH 7: The Thief

CH 8: Enough

CH 9: Left, Right, Straight Ahead...


	2. Es war nur ein Umfall!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing. Rowena is mine. Let me know how I'm doing after you read. Click that little purple button down there in the corner. You know you want to.

Rowena whimpered weakly, her head flopped against Alucard's shoulder. The Midian swept down the hallway with his future master cradled against his chest. Blood poured from beneath the braces on Rowena's legs, drenching the vampire's already bloodred coat. A soft growl escaped Alucard's throat as he rushed along. He had to hurry, she'd lost a lot of blood already. Besides that, if he was seen by Walter or his current Master, things would go from bad to worse.

He'd lose his head for sure. Not that that worried him particularly.

He glanced down at the little girl who lay unconscious against him. The scent of her blood surrounded both of them, tempting Alucard to do just what he'd been told not to. But these thoughts stopped as the Midian reached the little master's room. He laid her softly on her bed and began working at the braces on her legs. It took him a few minutes of frustration, but after a bit of a struggle, he got them off. It took him another minute to get over the shock of the sight of her legs. They were sickly, spindly, and covered entirely with delicate crisscrossing scar tissue. Her fall had torn most of the fragile flesh.

With a monstrous grin he set himself to his work. The Midian leaned down, his amazingly long tongue lolling out of his mouth to lap the smeared blood from the little girl's legs. As he ran his tongue carefully over each tear in her flesh, the skin began to slowly grow shut. He worked his way up from her ankles, taking care not to waste a single drop of already-spilled blood.

He had just reached her inner thigh when something halfway between a gasp and a moan snapped him to attention. He gazed up at the head of the bed, his tongue never leaving the half-healed wound he was nursing. The child was awakened, and in a state of shock.

Rowena awakened suddenly, to find the vampire with his tongue between her legs. She would've screamed, if it weren't for the incredible sensations he was producing. A delicious shudder ran up her spine and a scorching heat spread upward from her legs. She moaned softly in the back of her throat, grabbing Alucard's attention. He gave a deep, guttural chuckle, and continued to minister her wounds.

_You're delicious_, the words came unbidden into Rowena's mind. Terrified by both her situation and the strange sensations welling within her, she went rigid, screaming with terror inside her head. She was too petrified to make her mouth actually work. Once again, the Midian wormed his way into her thoughts. _Don't be frightened, little Master. I'm cleaning your wounds. _He turned away from her legs and leaned in to look her in the face. One arm rested on either side of her head, balancing him over her. _You lost a lot of blood. _His tongue snaked out, running gently up her neck and across her cheek. She whimpered weakly, trying vainly to push him away. _But it didn't go to waste, _he added, flashing a mouthful of razors at her. Rowena shuddered, finally finding her voice.

"Get off of me!" She snapped at him. He leaned even closer, and she felt his hot. metallic-smelling breath on her face.

_But I'm not finished cleaning you up. You're still bleeding a bit, little Master. _He gave her a creepy grin, his eyes widening like a psycho. _Let me finish and then I'll let go of you. I won't hurt you, I promise. _With that he proceeded to lick her remaining wounds. Rowena could barely hold still, she was so terrified.

It seemed to last an eternity until he finally sat up and released her. Rowena bolted upright, finally able to see her legs. She ran a hand up and down the skin. A lot of the scar tissue was gone, replaced by smooth, pale, normal flesh. There were still a few tight spots, where the scar tissue hadn't ripped and been repaired, but her legs looked a whole lot better. She glanced tentatively up at the vampire, who wiped a dribble of blood out of the corner of his mouth. Her blood. Rowena flinched.

He looked over at her again, and Rowena noticed that he had a dazed look in his eyes, almost as if he was drunk. A psychotic grin split his face. It was disconcerting. After a moment of staring and uncomfortable silence, she cleared her throat. "Did you carry me all the way back here from the stairs?" Alucard nodded, the haze beginning to clear from his eyes, though not completely. Rowena paused. "And you cleaned and healed my wounds?" She was once again met with a nod. Her eyes widened a bit, and she went to feel her neck. "You didn't bite me?" The vampire suddenly wore a hurt expression.

He said softly, "Why would I harm someone I am bound to protect?" Rowena narrowed her eyes at the vampire.

"Because you're a monster." The words fell from her lips heavily, as if made of stone. She scowled at him. "I would expect something like that from a beast such as you." Alucard laughed outright, flopping backwards on Rowena's bed and crossing his arms behind his head. His hair shadowed his eyes, but the little girl could feel the Midian's gaze resting on her.

"For your information, I am incapable of harming you." He snarled sardonically. "My Master gave me orders, and I must follow them. To the letter." Alucard crossed his legs over one another, reclining almost catlike on the foot of the girl's bed. "However…" He paused, turning his head to gaze directly at her, "All she told me was 'not to lay a finger' on you. She never said anything about my tongue…" With a demonic grin, he disappeared into thin air, leaving Rowena to lie amongst blood-drenched sheets. She fumed at him mentally, her anger and disgust growing with each passing second.

She growled in the back of her throat and snapped fiercely, "Leave me the hell alone, you Monster!"

It took her quite a while to get her blood-splattered braces back on her legs. And it took her even longer to get to her feet without her crutches. Once on her feet, she teetered dangerously, her knees shaking beneath her weight. Tears came to her eyes at the sharp pain it caused to stand on her own two legs. She glanced around the room for any sign of the vampire. Even though he terrified her, she wished he was here. Having someone strong enough to carry her would've been a blessing. She called out to Walter, hoping he might come to her rescue, but when no one answered her shout, she realized she was probably the only person staying in this wing.

So she took a step towards the door in desperation. By some miracle, she retained her fragile balance. She tried to take another step, but now that she didn't have the support of her bed, her knee buckled beneath her and she fell to the floor again. She gripped her knee in agony, rocking back and forth slightly. It was so agonizing that when she sucked in a breath to scream, all that came out was breathless silence. She could've sworn she felt something tear beneath her skin. After she caught her breath, she broke into soft sobs.

From across her room, a shadow in her mirror watched silently. The little girl sucked up her tears and tried to stand a second time. All that resulted was another fall, and even more frustrated tears. The shadow slid noiselessly from her mirror, coming to settle in a black cloud across her bloody bedspread. In its midst, two crimson eyes and a mouth formed. Meanwhile, Rowena had given up her struggle and flopped her head in her hands.

"I'm useless. I can't even get up on my own." She was startled from her lament by a soft sigh. Turning, she came face to face with the Midian in his ethereal form. His face had slid down to her level on a tendril of shadow.

"Need a hand?" The disembodied face grinned mockingly at her. It opened its mouth and a gloved hand appeared where a tongue normally would. Rowena couldn't help herself. She cracked up at the sight, taking his hand and giggling insanely at the same time. He scooped her up effortlessly, surrounding her in tendrils of shadow. Slowly, the shadowy mass that engulfed her took the shape of a man again. Alucard gazed down at Rowena with a renewed sense of seriousness. "Typically, one shows gratitude when someone else helps them." He set her down on her bed and began to head for the door. As he reached the threshold, he turned where he stood and hissed, "But I **am** a monster… so I guess I don't **deserve** it, Little Master." He said the last words quite flippantly. "Good luck finding your crutches." And he turned away to walk down the hall.

Rowena, hurt deeply by the Midian's words, called after him, "Alucard! Wait, please!" The Midian was a good distance down the hall from her room when he stopped, smirking into the darkness. He waited for a second to hear what she was going to say. The little girl said nothing, thinking he was already too far off to hear her. The only sound that reached the Midian's ears was a pathetic little sob.

Rowena sat there, staring dejectedly at her knees. A tear splashed against the blood stains on her braces. She was about to lie down in defeat when she heard the sound of Alucard's boots approaching again. She looked up to see him standing in the doorway. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, and he lounged against the doorframe.

"I- I'm sorry, Alucard. I didn't mean to – I wasn't … Thank you for helping me. I was just-" But she was cut off by the Midian.

"Scared." He said frankly. "Yes, I can sense it. And I can hear your thoughts, too." He said with a smirk. Rowena sat there looking perplexed. He'd torn the words from her mouth before her mind could even begin to turn them into coherent sentences. "Apology accepted, Little One." And he came over and sat next to her again.

A moment of quiet passed between them, during which both girl and vampire sized each other up. Then, Rowena spoke up, "Alucard, could you possibly help me get my crutches? I don't know what-"

"-Happened to them on the stairs." The vampire finished her thought for her. "Alright." And before she could react, she was scooped up and the two of them were whisking along the corridor. Once again, she was cradled against his chest.

Walter made his way down the corridor towards Rowena's room. He was going to tell her that dinner was on the table. When he knocked at the door and no one answered, he cracked it open and peeked inside. The poor man practically had a heart attack when he found an empty bed, the lower end of it drenched in blood. There were also large bloody boot prints leading over to the bed from the doorway. Those boots were pretty damn familiar. With an uncharacteristic loud string of curses, he dashed back towards his boss's office. Dinner could wait.

Alucard strode down the dark corridor, a smile gracing his lips. His hunger was sated, and he had another human to torment. Oh, the atrocities he had in the works for this one. She was small, weak, easy to frighten, and a virgin to top it off. That last one always gave him a few extra buttons to push in his quest for intimidation and irritation. Putting on an innocent front, he turned his attention back to the little bundle of nerves that was laying against his chest.

"Tell me, Little One, how did you end up crippled?" He said it a bit bluntly.

Rowena growled in the back of her throat. "I am NOT crip…" She trailed off, realizing that there was no avoiding it or sugar-coating it. She was crippled, even though she tried to deny it. She closed her eyes, trying to blank out the flood of memories. "I was in a car accident with my mother." She said quietly, after a few minutes of silent contemplation. "She was backended while I was climbing into the back seat to reach her bag for her. I wasn't holding onto anything, and I was flung through the windshield feet first. The flesh was mostly stripped from my legs." She tugged nervously at her shorts. "I went through tons of surgery, and even then, I lost over half of the muscle and connective tissue in my legs. The doctors told me it was a miracle that I still had any legs at all. I spent most of the last year in a wheelchair. It was just about a month ago that I was promoted to using the crutches." Rowena fell silent. The rest she couldn't talk about.

They reached the stairs and Alucard began carefully descending, watching out for the little girl's tiny metal crutches. It took him only a few moments to find them. Then he gently set her down and helped her strap them to her wrists. "Do you have the strength to walk back to your room or-"

But Alucard's thought was cut off by the enraged roar of his master. "ALUCARD! HOW DARE YOU DISOBEY ME!" Walter and Integra appeared, two menacing silhouettes in the bright end of the hallway. Before Alucard could even say anything, Integra leveled her pistol at him and fired, hitting him right between the eyes. He was thrown backwards, hitting the steps and tumbling a little ways before he healed enough to regain consciousness and catch a handhold. Integra charged down the stairs and stopped before Rowena. "Are you alright, cousin? Where did he bite you? How did he hurt you?" Rowena stood there bewildered, bursting into noisy confused tears.

"WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM!?!? HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" She cried. Integra knelt down and put her arms around Rowena.

"How could he not have? Your bed was covered in blood. What happened?" Her voice fluttered unusually with concern, but hardened again, suddenly stern. "Explain. Now."

"I fell down the stairs and ripped open a whole bunch of scars on my legs. I was bleeding all over the place. Alucard helped me. He cleaned up my wounds."

"That doesn't explain why your bed was bloody." She snapped.

Suddenly, a voice cut in from the shadows behind Rowena. "She was unconscious after the fall, so I carried her back to her room to clean her up. When she regained consciousness, she realized that I left her crutches down here so we came back –"

"Wait, wait, Servant!" She glared at him. "Hold on. How exactly did you clean her up?"

Alucard grimaced a bit, looking away. He knew she wouldn't approve. "I licked the wounds clean. My saliva caused them to close." A vein bulged in Integra's forehead.

"How dare you touch her in such a manner! I told you to keep your lecherous paws to yourself!" She raised her gun again, and Alucard yelped and ducked out of her line of fire. She chased him down the steps, firing after him. From the shadows below, Walter and Rowena could hear Alucard protesting.

"But Master, -**BLAM** - she would've bled –**BLAM**- to death before she –**BLAM**- could've received medical –**BLAM**- attention!" There was the sound of a few more shots, followed by the slow, solitary clack of Integral's boots on the stone floor. As she appeared in Rowena's field of vision, she turned back and called over her shoulder.

"Next time I'll empty a whole clip into your crotch!" A few moments later, Alucard stumbled out of the darkness on still-healing legs, wiping a bit of blood off of his brow. He grumbled under his breath.

"Master, I only did it in her interest. I didn't want to be responsible for her death!" Alucard regretted saying that instantly. Integral stiffened at his words.

"What. Did. You. Say!?" She growled through clenched teeth.

Alucard's shoulders slumped forward, a sweatdrop forming above his head. "I… er… I was the one who scared her in the first place and caused her to tumble down the stairs."

Suddenly, Integral's head grew to ten times its normal size. **"WHAAAAAAT!?!?!"**

Walter suddenly remembered that he'd left supper sitting out. He scampered off in terror- err… hurriedly, to go warm it up again. Rowena decided it was a good idea to go help him.

As Walter and Rowena retreated down the hallway, they heard more yelps and gunshots, with the occasional 'It was an accident's and 'Please forgive me, Master's thrown in.

T-T: HIT BUTTON NOW, PLEEEEASE!


	3. Wunder

Rowena chewed her nails nervously. The annoying paper beneath her crinkled as she shifted her weight. She swung her hand down and began drumming her fingers on the table. The young girl glanced up at the clock, then over at her cousin, who sat stiffly in a chair against the far wall.

Integra cleared her throat, uncrossing and re-crossing her legs in the opposite direction. The blonde sighed in annoyance, chewing on the end of her unlit cigar. She dearly wished she could light up, but it was a hospital _after all. _Finally, after they'd sat there for what seemed like hours, a man poked his head through the door. Both Hellsing women perked up.

The tall, skinny resident strode in, slamming down a huge stack of files. He pulled up a chair and cleared his throat. "Well, Miss Hellsing, we reviewed your files, and the doctor and I have talked with every known specialist in the field." He paused, looking down his long, bony nose at Rowena. The suspense was killing her.

"And we feel that there is nothing more that we can do for you." Rowena felt her stomach bottom out. "We've done countless reconstruction and muscle transplants. All that's left is to give you time, and schedule therapy to hopefully strengthen your legs. We have no guarantee that you will fully heal, orthat you will even walk on your own again, but there's always room for miracles." With that, he turned in his chair, scooped up his files, and headed for the door. On his way out, he called over his shoulder, "Oh, and don't forget to schedule your first therapy appointment at the front desk on your way out. Good luck." The door loudly snapped shut.

"So much for the miracles of modern medicine." Integra sighed angrily to no one in particular. There were a few moments of dead silence. Rowena felt her throat clench. She stared blankly at the floor, trying to keep the burning in her eyes from turning into real tears. Integra stood after a moment, walking over and putting a hand on her cousin's shoulder. "It'll be alright, I promise." She said comfortingly. "Work your hardest, and keep praying. I'm sure that miracle will come."

Rowena nodded, and stood with some difficulty. Integra put an arm about her cousin's shoulder and led her down the hallway to the front desk. Rowena didn't make a sound as Integra talked with the receptionist. The whole world seemed distant and surreal. In fact, Rowena really didn't even seem to be in the room at the moment. When she was finished, Integra headed for the door, and Rowena followed slowly.

The car was waiting for them outside already. Walter sat in the driver's seat, and the Mercedes' engine was idling. Integra opened the door and let Rowena climb in, then she went around and got in the front next to Walter. The elderly gentleman smiled at them both as he got in, but his smile quickly disappeared when he saw Rowena's hollow eyes in the rearview mirror. "Dare I ask how it went?" He said softly.

"We'll talk about it later, Walter." Integra said coldly. The former Angel of Death nodded and put the car in drive. The drive back to the mansion was only a little over half an hour. This time, however, it seemed to take ages. Rowena was silent the whole time, and merely stared dumbly out the window. The tension in the air was almost tangible.

The entry hall was dark when they came in. And it was late evening, already suppertime when they arrived. Walter took their coats, smiling brightly as he hit the lights. They flooded the beautiful baroque-style entry hall in a warm yellow glow. "Supper will be ready within the hour." He said, tottering off to put their coats away.

Integra laughed, calling after him. "Smashing, I'm starved!" But Rowena gave no response, and slunk down the dark hallway that led off to her wing. She didn't bother to turn on the lights, but disappeared into the shadows. After living here for two weeks, she knew her way around well enough, and she wasn't as afraid of the darkness, now that she knew who was hiding there.

Rowena finally reached her room, turning and locking her door behind herself. She didn't turn the light on, but trudged over and slumped across her bed. She let out a deep sigh of exhaustion and began unbuckling her leg braces. Those things got really itchy after wearing them all day. She set them beside her bed along with her crutches. Then she reached over and scooped up her remote off of her desk and turned on her stereo. The Angel of Music from the Phantom of the Opera began to play, lulling her into a sort of half-sleep.

She'd lost all track of time when there came a sudden knock on the door. She bolted upright, and looked around frantically, then let out a sigh of relief when she realized everything was okay. It took a second longer for her to remember the ordeal at the hospital. There came another, sharper knock, followed by, "Rowena, supper is ready." It was Walter. She sat there for a second, feeling the lump return to the back of her throat.

"I'm not hungry," she said, barely above a whisper. "I'll come and eat something when I feel like it."

"Alright." Walter said, and Rowena heard his footsteps echoing down the corridor. Then it was silent. She laid back down and closed her eyes, trying to forget how she was feeling. The music helped to shift her focus. Accompanied by the Music of the Night, she drifted into blissful forgetfulness. Before she lost consciousness completely, she scooped up the remote again and set the song to repeat.

When she next opened her eyes, she floated on a dark and misty lake. She was in a strange little boat, sort of like a gondola. Even though no one pushed it, it floated along slowly. Soft muffled music played from somewhere far off. Candles suddenly burst into life around her, and her little boat slowed to a stop. The music became louder, and Rowena could make out a familiar voice singing. Something in the back of her mind registered the words were from the Music of the Night. But she was more concerned with the voice. That soft, deep voice that drew nearer and nearer. She couldn't see it, but she could feel it, and she reached out to it. Then everything around her swirled madly, becoming a cyclone of grey mist, green water, and orange flames. Rowena felt her insides twisting as though she were falling. She closed her eyes to try to block it out. Then the plummeting stopped, she felt warmth cradling her and she was set down on a soft surface. She clung desperately to the warmth, which became more corporeal and cradled her closer. Then the voice whispered gently into her ear, "Little Master… Little Rowena… wake up."

Rowena's eyes shot open, and she froze in terror. She was staring right into Alucard's eyes, and she was clinging desperately to him, her arms clenched in a death grip around his neck. He had her cradled against himself, and had her halfway between lying down and sitting up. Rowena just stared at him in horror. She couldn't move, and she felt heat radiating from her face. Alucard didn't move either, but he wasn't nervous at all.

He just grinned, wider and wider the longer he looked at her. Then, he began to chuckle aloud. Rowena's eyes went even wider with confusion. It took him a minute, but Alucard got his composure back and sat her up. He didn't let her go though.

"I came in to check on you. You were crying in your sleep, and when I came closer, you reached for me and rolled out of bed by accident. I caught you before you hit the floor, but when I tried to set you back down, you wouldn't let go of me." He chuckled again, flashing a pointy smile at her. "Ah, but your expression when you awoke was priceless." She laughed nervously, trying to wriggle discreetly out of his lap. He noticed, and pulled her a bit closer, just to tease her. With a snicker, he added, "You have an interesting taste in music." Rowena stopped dead, her face flushing red again.

The Music of the Night was still playing. Both of them sat silent for a minute, and the implicitness of the lyrics dawned on Rowena for the first time. Funny how cute and innocent the song seemed when she listened to it by herself. But right now, sitting here in the darkness with Alucard's arms holding her snugly against him, his face mere inches from her own, the song screamed sexuality. The little girl felt her breath catch in her throat.

_Night time sharpens,  
__Heightens each sensation.  
__Darkness stirs  
__And wakes imagination,  
__Silently the senses  
__Abandon their defenses_

Alucard beamed at her, hugging her close. "Don't be so nervous, little one." He put one of his big hands on the back of her head, stroking her hair comfortingly. "I'm not going to hurt you." Rowena stopped struggling and relaxed a bit. The feeling of his arms wrapped around her, the feeling of his fingers running through her hair was so…

_Slowly, gently  
__Night unfurls its splendor  
__Grasp it, sense it  
__Tremulous and tender  
__Turn your face away  
__From the garish light of day  
__Turn your thoughts away  
__From cold unfeeling light_

So…

_And listen to the music of the night…_

Perfect.

_Close your eyes and surrender  
__To your darkest dreams,  
__Purge your thoughts  
__Of the life you knew before  
__Close your eyes,  
__Let your spirit start to soar  
__And you'll live  
__As you've never lived before_

It reminded her of when she was little. Her mother would take her in her lap, hold her close, stroke her hair, and tell her stories. And she would fall asleep, so comforted and secure. She couldn't ever remember having nightmares when she was little. But… now… now she did. Rowena felt hot tears welling beneath her eyelids, and a knot formed in her throat. Mom…

_Softly, deftly  
__Music shall caress you,  
__Hear it, feel it  
__Secretly possess you,  
__Open up your mind,  
__Let your fantasies unwind  
__In this darkness that  
__You know you cannot fight_

Oh, Mom… why did you leave me? What made you do that? Was it my fault? It was, wasn't it? I'm so sorry, Mom. I never wanted to be such a burden.

_The darkness of the music of the night…_

There's nothing they can do for me. Nothing. I'll be a burden forever, I know it. Will others die because of me?

_Let your mind start t__o journey  
__To a strange new world  
__Leave all thoughts of  
__The life you knew before  
__Let your soul take you  
__Where you long to be…  
__Only then, can you belong to me…_

And Rowena lost it. She buried her face in Alucard's shirt and wept for all she was worth. The Midian pulled her closer, whispering softly in her ear.

"Sweet child, why are you crying?" He waited for an answer, but none came. She simply clung to him tighter. "Was it something that I did? Or didn't do? Can I make it better?" She sniffed loudly, looking up at him with red, puffy eyes.

"No, of course not. I- I just… remembered something very painful. Never mind." She paused a minute, "What made you come in here in the first place?"

The Midian gave a soft sound of amusement. "Master told me you went to the hospital today." He wiped a stray tear from her chin. "Tell me, how did it go?" Rowena looked away.

"They said they'd done all they could do. They were going to schedule therapy for me, but there was no guarantee that my legs would get any stronger." She took a trembling breath. "They said it would be a miracle if I walked on my own again."

"Don't talk like that. I'm sure you'll get stronger." He brushed back her bangs and lightly kissed her forehead. "Even if you don't, I'll be there to watch out for you, Little Master." He enveloped her in his arms again, rubbing her back.

_Floating, folding  
__Sweet intoxication,  
__Touch me, trust me,  
__Savor each sensation,  
__Let the dream begin,  
__Let your darker side give in  
__To the power of the music that I write,  
__The power of the music of the night…  
__You alone can make my song take flight…  
__Help me make the music of the night…_

Alucard held the little girl close and whispered comfortingly in her ear. Within minutes, she went limp, and he set her gently back down on her pillow. He carefully pulled her covers over her and stood up. There was a dark glint in his eye as he whispered, "You'll get that miracle, I'll make sure of that." And he swept back through her locked door and into the hall beyond.

A/N: I don't own the lyrics to Music of the Night. And I apologize if they seem out of place here, but I wanted to imply the sexual tension (and teasing) between them, but at the same time I wanted this situation to reveal the caring side of Alucard's relationship with Rowena. I hope it doesn't seem too strange and out of character. Drop by and tell me how I'm doin', please.


	4. Tanz mit Tod

Yeah, I know its been like a million years since I last updated this. I apologize to those who waited. I just had the most horrid writer's block, even though I already knew the general direction in which I wanted to take this. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far. I thought I would answer your questions this time, since there seemed to be a bunch. And I know one thing that really ticks me off is when I take the time to review a story and I ask a question, and it NEVER gets answered. So here we are:

A few of you asked where Seras was/is. Don't worry, she's around. My writing just gets awkward when I'm trying to include her. I'm trying, sorry! She's not integral to the plot, but I'll try to get her in there.

Someone asked me what the term "Midian" means. I myself am not perfectly sure, but I do know that in the Hellsing manga (which I was introduced to before the anime) Alucard refers to himself and Seras as Midians. It probably does mean some type of vampire or undead… thing. Probably something strong, because Alucard tells Seras when she is tearing some ghouls apart, "Finally, you are learning what it really means to be a Midian!" Probably an Alucard-type vampire.

Oh, and Rowena is FIFTEEN. She was 5 years old when her father (Lord Richard Hellsing) was killed, and the Hellsing plot takes place ten years after that, hence, 15. (Sorry I haven't really specified in the story.) Yeah, I know she seems like this little waif, but well… she is a waif. That's from lack of physical activity. Alucard calls her "little one" and such because she is physically tiny. If she were 11 … um… ew….

Alucard doesn't have a "crush" on her. He has his own agenda for behaving the way he does. He'll stop being so OOC soon. This chapter is probably the peak of his painfully saccharine OOCness. From here, he returns to his normal, sadistic self.

Okay, I apologize for that rambling, on to the story…

Late evening light poured in through the windows in the west wing parlor, illuminating the little form stretched out on the floor. Black locks fell in Rowena's eyes as she lie on her stomach on the Persian carpet. Her eyes zipped across the pages of a rather thick book as she hummed along with a love song-type melody that blared from her nearby stereo.

Next to her lay her crutches and braces in a tangled heap. Her legs lay limp and unmoving behind her, still pale and emaciated as ever. As the room grew darker with the falling night, Rowena looked up from her novel. The shadows in the room grew longer, some of them twisting strangely. The young Hellsing didn't notice. She sighed, rolling onto her back and sitting up with a grunt of effort. "I ought to get the light." She said to no one in particular. Rowena looked at her legs for a bit, massaging the muscles lightly with her hands. Silently, in the darkest corner of the room, a pair of red eyes opened.

The little girl slowly inched her legs into position with their own muscles. For the first time in ages, she could move her legs without the use of her hands, albeit very slowly. With a deep breath, she forced her legs beneath her and put her hands flat on the floor. Rowena cheered internally.

She was crouching.

Now came the tough part. She pushed up with her arms and tried to do the same with her legs. Nothing happened. She felt the muscles in her legs straining for all they were worth. Burning, aching, stabbing… She pinched her eyes shut, forcing her legs to work harder. Her whole body was shaking in pain, but she was moving upward, centimeter by centimeter… millimeter by millimeter. Opening her eyes, she saw her knees were half-bent, and she was almost standing. She gave one last push with her hands and balanced precariously on her legs alone.

Slowly, surely, Rowena took tiny, shuffling steps towards the lamp. She grabbed onto it for support as she reached it, turning the switch and delicately turning around. As she turned, there sat Alucard in an armchair across from her. He was reading the same book she had been only moments ago. She gave a little squeak of surprise, nearly falling except for her grip on the lamp.

The vampire looked up from the book, setting it down on the arm of the chair. With a grin of pride, he said, "Little Master, you're walking!" He stood and held his hands out to her. She gave a soft giggle, pulling herself upright.

"Yeah, the therapy is helping a lot more than I thought it would!" Then, she ambled over, putting her hands in his. She leaned up and said softly, "It's still really painful, but it's a start."

"Yes, Little one. Soon, we'll have you dancing again, won't we?" Rowena looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Were you reading my mind again?" She asked rather flatly.

"Oh, no little one, I overheard part of your conversation with Police Girl the other day." He beamed at her. "And if you need a dance partner…" He trailed off with a chuckle. Rowena sighed, shaking her head.

"No, Alucard, not THAT type of dance. I used to take tap dancing and ballet, before I had the accident. I don't know the first thing about ballroom dancing."

"Hm, well…. I'll have to teach you, then." Red eyes glittered at her. He held out his hands again, gesturing her forward.

"Now?" Her green eyes grew big and wide. "But I'm so tired!"

"I'll support you if you need me to, little one." The vampire flashed a gentle smile at her. "And I'll be nice, I promise." Rowena gave an uncertain little whimper in the back of her throat, but set her hands in Alucard's again. She moved within an arm's length of him, letting him show her where to set her hands.

"Here, this hand goes on my waist, you're a bit too short to get it on my shoulder comfortably. This hand goes here… now get a bit closer." And he pulled her nearly against himself. She stiffened uncomfortably. "Now, follow my lead." And the two of them began to sway with the music. The song had a gentle beat that was easy to almost waltz to, and so they began a simple three-step. Rowena wasn't even close to comfortable with this, the pain in her legs making her cramp and stumble fairly often.

Her heart thundered in her chest with fear and embarrassment. _He's a vampire_, said her conscience, _a monster that will take advantage of you_._ Don't trust him, don't get close to him. Don't let him get into your head. _Rowena could almost feel Integra breathing down the back of her neck, scolding her for playing with fire. She'd scolded her severely after the incident with the stairs.

The vampire bent his head down and whispered in her ear, "Relax, little one. There's no need to be afraid. If you want to go even slower, that's fine. I don't want you to get hurt." Rowena nodded, not meeting his eyes. Alucard sighed after a moment, adding, "Your heart is jackhammering. I can hear it. Relaaaaax. Your legs are tensing up. The more tense you are, the more likely you are to hurt yourself. Maybe we ought to stop." _Why is he being so nice? _The little voice screamed, _he wants your blood, he wants your body, he wants SOMETHING! Don't trust him!_

Rowena squashed the nagging little voice and looked up at him, shaking her head. "No," she swallowed hard, "its alright, we can keep going." _Give it a chance, he hasn't hurt you yet,_ she told herself.

"Alright, let your legs relax. I'll support some of your weight." She tried, unsuccessfully. "No, no. Don't lock your knees like that. I know its hard not to. Just take a few deep breaths and trust me. I won't let you fall." Maybe it was the love song that was playing, maybe it was her proximity to the vampire, or maybe it was hormones or naïveté, but what ever the cause Rowena felt a slight shift in her state of mind. _Maybe it's okay to trust him, just for a bit. Pretend he's a normal guy for a while._

It took Rowena a bit, but she began to grow more comfortable, closing her eyes and leaning closer to Alucard. She even ignored the growing ache in her legs and waltzed a bit faster. They began turning, moving in a circuit about the room. Rowena opened her eyes, glancing up at the vampire. He was smiling as she'd never seen before; genuinely. It wasn't a dark grin or a smirk, but a _smile_, shining brightly in his ruby eyes. She couldn't help but smile back.

Maybe… maybe I _can_ trust him.

The two of them began to laugh simultaneously, filling the room with a pure, mirthful sound. "Look at you, just look! You're doing it, Little Master. And very gracefully, I might add, for a girl who just started walking again."

It was then that the pain began to set in. Though they had hurt all along, there came a sudden sharp pain which Rowena knew signaled the end of her endurance. A look of panic flashed across her eyes, and she gave a ragged gasp. She dug her fingers into Alucard's back and hand, clinging as her legs began to wobble beneath her. The raven-haired girl tried to steady herself, focusing everything on keeping her legs beneath her. Alucard had stopped dancing and loosened his grip.

The little girl wobbled for a split second, now unable to strain her legs any further. Then with a sickening crunch, her knees gave out and the vampire barely reacted in time. He caught her, lowering her gently to the floor and kneeling down next to her. She bit her lip to keep from screaming, though a bit of a cry escaped anyway. Her hands flew to her knees, clutching them and massaging them in a fruitless effort to ease the pain. Tears already streamed down her face. Alucard brought his arms around her, stroking a hand over her hair and brushing tears from her cheeks. "I know it hurts, little one. Try to calm down. Let's see what happened." She stopped her pained convulsions as he turned her face up to his gently. "May I have a look?" Rowena nodded. Alucard gently touched her knees, feeling for anything out of place. By looking at her, he could tell it sent shockwaves of agony up her spine. "It feels like something's torn, or twisted, little one."

"Damnit! I'm so useless! I should've known better than to try something like that so soon!" Rowena put her head in her hands, slumping pathetically.

"Now, little one, it isn't your fault. I'm the one who pushed you to dance, It's _my_ fault you got hurt. I thought it would strengthen your legs. I guess it was too soon." He lifted her chin and kissed her softly on the cheek. "Please forgive me, little one. I never meant to hurt you. Come on, let's go see Integra and call the doctors." Behind his moonlit glasses, his eyes appraised the young girl, predicting her reaction perfectly.

Rowena stared up at him, wide-eyed. "No, Alucard!" In a panic, she pictured Integra's reaction. _She would kill me! She told me not to trust him!_

"Why ever not, Rowena?" The vampire was taken aback.

"She… she would call me a disgrace for … trusting you. She warned me about it before. She told me that if I got too close to you, I would be "tainted" and I wouldn't be fit for family headship. She warned me that she would lock you away again if something else happened."

"So she would lock me away." Alucard said stoically. "You could release me when you become Sir Hellsing."

"But…" She stopped, feeling a sudden wave of embarrassment. "But isn't there anything you could do to fix this? Like last time?"

Alucard sat silent for a moment. "Last time, little one, the wounds were external. This time… it would be different." He pretended to think about it.

"There is something you could do?"

"Well, yes… but I'm not sure you'd like it."

"Tell me anyway."


	5. Sich befassen mit dem Teufel

/ Thanks for the reviews so far! It makes me so happy to know that you people like this!

Hey, Royalpalmtree, thanks for taking the time to write me such a book of a review! I want you to know that I made him quite purposefully saccharine. You'll be MUCH more satisfied with this story soon, so don't worry. He won't be all sugary sweet for much longer. (I apologize to anyone who likes sugary-sweet Alucard! I find myself getting attached to this OOC-Alucard so much I seem to forget how to write normal Alucard!)

I also must apologize for the HUUUUGE wait you folks have had for this chapter. I've been one busy girl.

Anyway, on to the story… /

"Well, little one, if you remember, my saliva healed your external wounds. What would heal internal ones?" The vampire whispered. Rowena pulled away from him, turning her eyes to her knees.

"You tell me, vampire," she said, a slight quiver in her voice. It traveled visibly across her form.

"Can't you take a guess? It's really quite obvious." The two locked gazes for a moment, and the Midian rolled crimson eyes skyward at her silence. "My blood will heal you, little one." The little girl went wide-eyed, shaking her head as if to deny it.

"B - but that will make me a vampire!" She stammered.

Alucard laughed, "No it won't. Not if you only have a taste." He smiled knowingly. "Come, Little Master, you want to walk again, don't you?" He taunted, leaning down over her form and planting his hands on either side of her. His lips hovered very close to her ear, brushing it gently as he spoke. "Don't you want to dance again?" She shuddered at the touch, going rigid as he pulled her closer still.

"Yes, more than anything." She whispered timidly. "But… what if Integra finds out?"

"She won't. It'll be a gradual transition, Little Master. She'll not find out." He said comfortingly, "Until she cannot undo what I've done for you." Rowena gazed at him thoughtfully.

"Transition?" She said at length.

"You will slowly regain your strength, and it will appear as if your therapy is making you stronger."

"It will not hurt me in any way?"

"You know I cannot do anything to hurt you, child…" he replied. _'Without your consent,'_ he added silently to himself.

"... alright." she hesitantly replied. The vampire grinned broadly, a shadow washing across his features.

Rowena had seen this part of the manor before. The sub-levels had called to her the first day she had been there. Alucard's presence and her curiosity had drawn her down the dark staircase, to her injury and first real encounter with the monster. Now he carried her again, though not to the safety of _her_ room to minister her wounds.

He was carrying her downwards, into the deep, dark belly of the manor. Something in the back of her mind, a tiny little nagging voice told her she was traversing into the very depths of hell. _Accepting charity from a vampire. You little whore of Satan. You've done it now._

What seemed to be the voice of reason, the overriding voice in her mind, was reeling to rationalize this. _He was so kind, and he can't hurt me! He's helping me._

_He's dragging you down. He may be kind, but wasn't the serpent in Eden kind and persuasive? _Now it was clearly Integral's voice in her mind. _Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from e-_

_Can it! _Rational Rowena snapped.

_I can't believe you're going to drink HIS blood! You're actually going to let the foul substance pass your lips! It will be disgusting and rotten, just like he is beneath that veneer of kindness._

_I said CAN IT!_

The vampire chuckled internally, catching wind of Rowena's rather loud mental argument. His Master had most certainly been lecturing Rowena about vampires, Alucard in particular. But she was young and naïve almost to a fault when it came to trusting people, so she would most likely go through with the blood deal.

The two reached Alucard's door and passed through it before Rowena could say anything. She gave a startled squeak as they passed through to the vampire's chamber. Chuckling darkly, he sat down in the high-backed chair by his table, and adjusted the young Hellsing in his lap. She took a moment and glanced over at his open coffin, and around the sparse room before she turned her gaze back on him. "So how does this work?", she said apprehensively.

"All you need to begin healing is a single taste of my blood. Barely a mouthful should set you straight." he replied, loosening the knot in his tie. Rowena made a little nervous noise in the back of her throat as he began to untie it.

"And it won't make me a-"

"Not such a small amount," he interjected, "To change, you would require a large amount at one time." The Midian now began working at the top button of his shirt.

"How much is a large amount, then?" she asked so softly it was barely audible. The monster gave a deep, surprised chuckle as he finished with the third button.

"Oh, have I piqued your interest, Little Master?" He put a hand around her lower back and drew her closer. She gave a startled cry and planted her arms rigidly against his shoulders, attempting to push herself away.

"What are you doing?" she hissed.

"How do you think you're getting my blood?" his eyes met hers seriously, their faces mere inches apart. _Right from the source_, echoed his voice in her mind. Her eyes went wide. _You want my blood to heal, well, take it, little one. _He drew back his collar, exposing his pale shoulder, and tilted his head back and to the side. His face split into a smile which managed to be both lazy and predatory at once.

"How am I supposed to do that without fangs?" she deadpanned. The vampire laughed.

"You aren't. But I wanted to see if you would try." He smirked at her and brought his left hand up to his shoulder. For a moment he felt with his middle and index fingers before finding a spot that seemed to suit him. His fingers twitched as nails lengthened into claws. With a hiss, he sunk them into the flesh just above his left collarbone and drug them an inch or so towards his shoulder. Rowena gave a disgusted gasp.

Immediately, dark blood welled to the surface and dribbled lazily down his chest. Rowena tried to draw back in revulsion, but the vampire had a firm grip behind her neck. "Drink," he growled, low and commanding, "Before the wound closes." His hand clung fiercely now, forcing her to him. Green eyes wide with terror darted from his face to his profusely bleeding shoulder.

"I've changed my mind! Let me go!" She implored, struggling with his steely grip, wriggling as he drew her face to the wound which was beginning to slowly heal.

"No, you wanted this, now drink!" His hand forced her the rest of the way there, and she found her closed lips and nose mashed into blood-stained flesh. "I don't spill my blood on a whim…"

_No, I won't_, she thought, keeping her mouth firmly shut. But she couldn't breathe, and it wasn't long before she had to open her mouth. She pinched her eyes shut and slowly brought her tongue against his bloodied skin. As the vampire felt her tongue caress his skin, he loosened his grip on her and allowed her a much-needed breath. At the same time the blood hit her taste buds, and she sucked in a sharp gasp. Thick, sweet blood rolled over her tongue, sending waves of pleasure and heat across her body. It was the sweetest thing she'd ever tasted; sweeter than wine, sweeter than chocolate, with a rich, bitter undertone that caught hold of her and wouldn't let go.

Alucard could see her pupils shrink to sharp pinpoints with the first taste of vampiric blood. The room may have been nearly black, but blood was the silver of the soul; to share it was to share oneself. For a few moments the girl was Alucard, keen-eyed, sharp-toothed, and insatiable, until the dizzying burst of power burned off like the head of perfume. To channel the ancient vampire would mark the girl forever, much as holding a flame in ones hands will burn and scar hideously. This change, however, would be less obvious than burn scars.

Hunger and lust overtook Rowena and she ravenously lapped up the blood that ran from the wound. Her tongue traced over the trails of blood, running along his collar bone and down the contours of his chest muscles. A low sigh of satisfaction flew from the vampire's throat.

_No better than a beast_, scorned her cousin's voice. _Indebting yourself to a monster! Drinking blood from his breast like a babe!_

Large hands drew the petite Hellsing against him as she tugged impatiently at his shirt. Her tongue passed over the wound again, and when she tasted no blood, she greedily sunk her teeth in. The vampire's low, contented rumble rapidly descended into a warning growl. Big hands clamped around Rowena's shoulders and forced her away as he barked, "Enough!" Starved green eyes met lust-hazed red ones and turned away in shame.

_What have I done? Oh God…_

She wiggled uncomfortably in his lap, finally slipping free as he let her drop. The black-haired girl fell to the floor with a thump, but without her braces she couldn't do much. She scrabbled back from the vampire with her arms, her legs dragging uselessly. Panic made her clumsy, and she collapsed in a heap of tears and tangled limbs.


	6. Selbstmord und Schuld

/Hi everybody! OMG it has been a YEAR since I updated this. I hope you people still remember what has taken place so far. If not, go back and reread at your leisure.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and showed me love in hopes of getting me to write. I'm not one of those people who only writes after they get so many reviews, but I have been very busy and, believe it or not, I've had a draft of this chaper sitting around forever! Yes, I am planning on finishing this story. It's been sitting around unfinished forever and bugging me! Thank you for your persistence Yumi-of-Diamonds (and others!!).

Oh, and to Different Child - she drank just a tiny bit of Alucard's blood. In Hellsing, blood is a channeling element of power and memories, and for a moment she saw through the vampire's eyes. It was such a powerful experience that it almost "burned" her, if you know what I mean. So here is my update, beginning with something very vivid and angsty - a "head trip" if you will. Enjoy! Hopefully there will be more to come soon!

I also apologize for the intense interactions between just Alucard and Rowena, but their interplay is crucial, as the point of the story rotates on the power dynamic between them. Next chapter there is going to be Integra, Seras, Walter, etc involvement. Much Love!/

Rowena awoke, loud crashes of gunfire resounding through her skull. Echoing and bouncing off of bone; multiplying and bombarding her senses to the point of overload. Blam. Blam. BLAM. Opening her eyes, she lay in a heap in the middle of a white room. With a scream of pure terror, she saw the great swaths of crimson that coated the walls – gory handprints smattered and streaked every surface, as if someone had been scrabbling, clawing, desperately trying to climb the walls. A bone-rattling rumbling permeated the world, rising to an eerie electronic shriek as she turned her gaze on the floor before her. There was a body.

A force outside of herself caused her to stand and walk – as easily as she had before the accident. She heard a vague splashing as she walked, but her eyes could not turn down to see what it was. A hand reached out and overturned the crumpled body so that it stared upward. A faded death cry pierced the air – a familiar sound that made Rowena's hair stand at attention. The blasted, terrible remains of a woman's head stared up at her; a bloody crater of broken bone and brains and teeth. One green eye remained. It glared accusingly up at her out of the wreckage. Rowena couldn't bring herself to even breathe.

Suddenly, the face, if it could be called that, shifted slightly – a horrible ruined voice croaked, "You killed me…" The girl dropped the mashed head with a splat, backing away. A slow scream rose in the back of her throat as she backed away. It rattled and burned, a crow-like caw of anguish and horror.

"MUM! GOD NO!" She sunk, still sucking in desperate breaths and screaming, into a heap on the floor. Her hands covered her face, and she could feel something sticky. Blood. It was blood. There was blood on her hands. Sitting up, she saw that she was sitting in a puddle of it. She was covered in it. She shot up and off of the floor, whirling around and now seeing that her own handprints covered the walls. In her turn, she saw a flash of another girl and stopped, turning back.

One wall was a mirror. Stepping towards it, she saw the blood on her face and matted in her hair. She reached the surface and leaned on it for support. Tears still flooded down her face. "I'm a monster…" the words breezed softly past her lips as she stared at her bare pink-streaked feet. "I killed her. All those surgeries – I didn't need them, but I begged for them so selfishly. I just HAD to walk again! I drove her to the end of her sanity - I pushed her to the edge. I might as well have pulled the trigger MYSELF!" The word resounded, amplified off of the walls. With an angered roar, she pounded both fists on the glass and lifted her gaze to her reflection. Her face was contorted with a grimace of rage. And that grimace stared red-eyed and sharp toothed back at her. Blood ran over her lips.

She stumbled backwards in shock. The thing in the mirror snarled and bared its teeth, twisting spasmodically and slashing at the other side of the mirror. Squeezing her eyes shut, she buried her head in her hands and cried, "NO!"

An animal voice growled in response – "Yessss, 'Little One.'" Rowena looked up at the thing in the mirror. "This is what you are. What you have done." A larger shadow came forward in the mirror and brought its arms around Rowena's reflection. The beast-Rowena looked up at it and turned to embrace it. The dark thing lifted its gaze to Rowena and two red ghost-lights gleamed out of its black face. Rowena watched in horror as her mirror-image stood on tiptoe to sink its teeth into its companion's shoulder.

_You are tainted. Ruined. I cannot possibly leave Hellsing to you. You are a disgrace, worse than your father, you unholy slut!_

Rowena shot up in bed, tears still glistening on her cheeks. Her stomach was churning – she felt so sick she thought she was going to die. The taste of blood in her mouth didn't help. It made her more sick to realize that it was the monster's blood. Struggling vainly to get out of bed without her braces, she rolled and fell to the floor with a slam. Waves of nausea continued to roll over her, overriding her pain, and she managed to find the strength to roll onto her stomach and drag herself across to the slightly open door. The bathroom was only across the hall, if she could just make it there –

She moaned and swallowed hard, forcing herself into a clumsy sort-of half-crawl. Her legs still weren't working right yet, but she got to the toilet just in time. After a painful fight with dry heaves, she threw up what remained in her stomach of supper and Alucard's offering and collapsed feebly to the floor. Sobs soon wracked her small form. "Mom…" she croaked, "I'm so sorry – I was so selfish."

"For what? Wanting to walk again?" The deep voice cut through the night and stabbed her straight in the heart. She gasped and gazed up at his shadowed form through her tears. "That's not selfish. Anyone would want that."

"I didn't need those surgeries!" Rowena cried, "I bankrupted her! I drove her insane. I-"

"You DID NOT kill her!" The vampire barked, then stopped. He suddenly became softer, kneeling down beside her, "Do not blame yourself, child. You cannot account for that woman's weakness, only your own." A hand came down and stroked the side of her face. She cringed, remembering what had transpired earlier that evening.

She remembered the taste of his blood flowing across her tongue. She had gotten greedy and bitten into his shoulder when the flow of blood had stopped. The vampire's satisfied purr had flown into a growl and he had dropped her from his lap. She scrabbled away from him as he rose and snarled at her.

"How dare you bite me!?" The vampire roared as he advanced on her. "How dare you take more than I offer?" Fury burned in his eyes. The little girl cowered up at him.

"I'm sorry, Alucard – I couldn't help myself. It-" She stopped. The vampire stopped over her, leaning down to look at her.

"It what?" he growled, grinning evilly.

"You know what I'm thinking."

"I want to hear you say it."

"It … tasted good." She barely whispered, looking intently at her feet. Deep self-satisfied laughter floated down at her.

"Is this how you'll react every time?"

"What!?" The young Hellsing gasped. "You mean-"

"You'll need more blood to regain your strength, Little One."

"But you said barely a mouthful would set me straight!"

"I said, 'to begin healing,' did I not?" Rowena stuttered, unable to respond. "You must think about the consequences of your actions before taking them, child."

She had not thought. She had only reacted on her gut, out of fear - fear of being disowned and abandoned again. It was a perfectly rational fear, considering Integra's stern disapproval of Rowena's trusting behavior. Since she and Integra began their lessons on vampires, Rowena had been warned again and again. And yet she found herself unable to believe that Alucard would harm her.

_But he hasn't harmed me yet, has he? Aside from that fall down the stairs, which he made up for_, she reminded herself, _he hasn't harmed me._

"So, what does that mean for me?" She asked at length, still gazing up at the vampire. He gathered her into his arms, standing and reaching for the button atop the toilet. When the swirl of deep red bile, all evidence of Alucard's rule-breaking, was gone, he carried her back to her chamber and set her back down in the middle of her tangled sheets.

He sat down next to her, pulling off his glasses and slipping them into a pocket. "First things first, it means you need more blood. You spit up the first little bit you were given, which comes as no surprise." Rowena wrinkled her brow, laughing at his peculiar choice of words. Their eyes met as he undid his tie for the second time that night. "What?" He said.

"Infants spit up, Alucard." Rowena only grew more confused when he grinned and nodded.

"Alucard, I really don't want…" she began, but fell silent when met with his steely eyes, gleaming through the darkness.

"Nonsense! You need it to heal, to move past your weakness."

"I threw it up." She clarified, slowly, as if speaking to a small child. "Obviously, I'm not meant to have it."

"Your body rejected it at first, but your stomach was full of human food. You know that makes a vampire sick. Taking in a little bit of me caused the food to sicken you as well." He pulled open the top of his shirt again, leaning towards her. She recoiled, but found herself backed against the headboard.

"Alucard, please…!" She put her hands out and tried to hold him at arms length, but he caught her in his hands and slid her down onto her back. Rowena could feel tears prickling at the back of her eyes as he straddled her hips, leaning down over her. She felt so utterly helpless, pinned here beneath him with only her arms to fight back. "I don't want your blood. I want to heal on my own!"

She could just make out the features that floated above her through the curtain of black hair that reached down and almost brushed her face. His whisper came through to her clearly. "You agreed to this, and as I said, you should have thought this through before saying yes." His body, until now held up on his hands and knees, slid closer. Rowena shivered as his form pressed her lightly into the mattress. "But you will see in a moment that you DO want my blood." He sliced open his shoulder as before and leaned close.

Rowena's eyes shrunk to ravenous pinpoints at the scent of his blood. Forgetting everything, she closed the few inches between them and latched onto the wound. One small arm slipped around him and settled on his shoulder blade. The other slid across the back of his neck and into his hair, which seemed to curl about her fingers on its own. As she drank, the vampire put a hand behind her and held her there as he nuzzled against the joint of her neck and shoulder. He drank in the delicious scent of her pounding pulse, regrettably unable to bite her back. Even if he could have, at this moment, drinking the girl's blood would be counterproductive, and he would not have done it.

It would place him nearly back at square one, and he didn't have much time before Integra would call for the annual blood pact. This time Rowena was to join in, and then he would not hold such sway.

A small moan broke him away from the scent of virgin blood and his musings. She fell back from his shoulder, her gaze fogged with bloodlust, a trail of crimson trickling from the corner of her mouth. Her hands still clung to him fiercely. He broke in with dark laughter as she lazily licked her lips. "You see, child? You craved it."

She turned her gaze away from his face, pointedly embarrassed. The fog in her eyes had not cleared, nor did she let go of him. He laughed again as she nuzzled against his shoulder, wordlessly asking for more. Swollen lips smoothed over his skin in a kiss.

"No, no more," he answered her question firmly, "Sleep now. Dream of dancing…" he whispered into her ear. And he rolled onto his back, taking her onto his stomach. Contentedly drunk, she closed her eyes and tucked her head under his chin. He wiped the small drop of blood from her chin and licked it from his thumb, chuckling in self-satisfaction as he wrapped his arms tighter about the small form. "All mine," he said, smiling up at the moon through her window.

/So now you know how Rowena was abandoned - her mother committed suicide. The blood-smeared room is the inside of Rowena's mind - representing her struggle to leave the pain behind her. Her guilt (blood on her hands) kept her from escape, in fact, she was knee-deep in it. She tried to escape, but could not hide from the image of her mother's body and her feelings of personal responsibility - no matter how ill-founded they were. And now we see a new level in Rowena's strange interactions with Alucard. We've had master and servant, beauty and beast, naive versus knowing, friendship versus sexuality, and something else now. It may scare you, but can you name the new dimension between them? It is hinted at several times in this chapter, and in the previous chapter. (It's not hard!) Please review and let me know what you liked, what you hated, and what I can do better! It's always appreciated!/


	7. Der Dieb

Thank you for your reviews! I got a lot of good feedback, and I can only hope for more as I continue. To Jamason – thank you, I'll do my very best to continue – this story is an idea that I have a physical need to GET OUT of my system. It WILL be finished eventually. I actually plan on a rewrite as my writing style has changed since I began it – there is a noticeable difference to me in voice/style between chapters one and six. Also, I felt that the reader could gather ALL that I have written in my summary at the end FROM the actual text – what I wrote is the subtext, a psychological view of what I aimed to write. Please let me know if you do not get that from the story. My purpose in placing it there is to allow people to go back and see possibly hidden ideas that lie beneath the sequence of words, as an oral storyteller would share an inside bit of knowledge with his or her audience that the characters do not consciously know or acknowledge. Thanks again to everyone who took time to review and send me their love/opinion.

Also, a quick sidenote to Sammi C. You said Alucard's last words "All mine" intrigued you. Well, as a little easter egg, I wanted to tell you that those words came from the mouth of my boyfriend – and let me tell you, that is a very squeal-worthy thing to hear when you are cuddling!

ALSO: I am SOOOOO sorry that this is once again updated FIVE MONTHS later! My writer's block is ridiculous. I hope this begins to satisfy some of your cravings for Alu x Ro. Hopefully this chapter will offer some comedic relief and fluff from the extreme HEAVY of last chapter.

Firm warmth encompassed Rowena's form. Morning light peeked around the edges of her curtains, taunting her sleep-laden lids. With a groan, she turned towards the dark wall of warmth behind her, burying her face into it and pulling the covers up around her like a cocoon. The sheltering heat seemed to realize her intentions, and drew her closer. A soft chuckle brought Rowena to wakefulness.

Her eyes shot open. In a split-second realization, she noted arms wrapped about her and legs twined with hers. Her cheek laid against a slightly warm, unyielding surface. In a moment of panic, she frantically pushed away, only to look up and catch Alucard's eye.

"What's wrong, little one? Surely not more nightmares?" The vampire laughed. Rowena joined him, nervously.

"No, only you," she smiled half-heartedly at him, hazy memories of blood dancing across her lips. "You stayed with me?"

"Of course," he stated, "I wanted to make certain you didn't reject my blood again," as if he spoke about a simple transfusion. "And I chased away those recurring nightmares. You aren't to worry about the situation with your mother again." It was not a question.

"What makes you think you can order me about?" she joked, attempting to push down the rising hurt. The vampire laughed.

"Oh, there are lots of things I could say to that…" His growl rumbled in his chest, as he used his superior weight to push her onto her back. He hovered over her for an uncomfortable moment, gazing very seriously down at her. She froze, terrified by his expression. After the initial discomfort passed, she laughed, reaching up and shoving his face away playfully.

"Getoff!" She pushed up against him, but he caught her wrists and twisted her around again, now pressing her small arms into the pillow above her head. All thought was blanked out by a hum of terror.

"Now, now, Little One, if you're too loud, someone will come running and find us here. How would that make you look, hmm…" he murmured suggestively, "Lying beneath me?" She blushed furiously, trying to turn her gaze away but finding her field of vision filled with vampire. At last she closed her eyes and pretended this was not happening.

"Alright, so maybe you can order me about, then," she whispered in defeat. "Please let me up."

"Only if you say so, Little Master," he laughed. Something sounded funny about the last two words. She opened her eyes again to find him smirking. "You know I am ever your loyal servant, oh diminutive Hellsing." He still hovered over her, holding her hands hostage. Rowena shrunk back against the pillow as he leaned slowly towards her to whisper in her ear. "But I will only bow to your wish if you let me feed you without struggling or arguing."

"Again? How often will I-"

"AH!" He put a finger to her lips, "I said no arguing." After a moment of quiet from the girl, he lifted his finger.

"But what if I –" his hand moved to shush her again, but she snapped her teeth at it, causing Alucard to stop and laugh. "What if I don't?" she added over his laughter.

"Then I will keep you here, as long as it takes. Even until it encroaches upon your lessons with Integra, if necessary." One hand reached down and slid her thighs apart. She gasped, her eyes like saucers, and began to writhe to no avail. She cursed her weak, useless legs.

He slipped his legs between hers and slid down against her as she squirmed. "What are you doing?" she hissed. The vampire released her hands and balanced himself on his elbows, effectively not putting any weight on the girl.

"Getting comfortable, child." He smiled silently down at her for a moment, his eyes never leaving hers. Dead, awkward silence.

"Go away." She said flatly after a moment.

"That's not going to do it, child." He simply smiled down at her again. As she stared, his eyes seemed to get closer and more intense. Footsteps suddenly resounded down the hall.

"Miss Rowena, breakfast is ready for you." Walter's voice echoed through the door. The girl's eyes glared up at the vampire's in horror. His were closed and his grin seemed to split his face in half.

"I-I'll be out soon, Walter," she called, attempting to hide her panic.

"I can bring it in, if you wish, Miss…" he offered enthusiastically. She had to clap a hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp. The vampire above her was shaking with silent laughter.

"No, no, no, I'm not dressed! Err… please don't come in!" She replied very quickly, her voice almost betraying her fear. She resumed pushing against the vampire, but she might as well have been trying to move a brick wall. She stopped after a moment, realizing there was no point. "Uhhh… Tell you what, Walter, I'll be down for breakfast in a little while, alright? I won't make you wait for me."

"Do you require my help, young miss?" Walter chirped. Alucard barely kept the laughter in. Rivulets of blood ran down his lips where fangs cut into them. There was a moment of silence. At last, Walter replied, "Alright, then. It'll be waiting in the dining room for you then." His footsteps faded into the distance.

As soon as he was out of earshot, the vampire burst forth with a rumbling cascade of laughter. A small finger went to Rowena's lips as she tried to quiet him. He paid no mind, so she reached up and clapped her hand to his grinning lips, only to squeak in disgust as her palm was licked. "You are horrible, you know that?!" She protested, wiping her hand on the shoulder of his shirt. "Why do you delight in this torture?"

He flashed the razors at her and replied, "That is my nature, child. Why do you think Integra is completely and utterly exhausted?" She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Alright… fine, I'll drink. Will you leave me be then?" The vampire suddenly sat up on his knees, pulling her up by the hand too.

She looked up at him in surprise as he pulled back the collar of his shirt, still unbuttoned from last night. He reached out to her, offering his gloved hand, wordlessly smiling, his eyes glittering with unnamed emotion. "Are you going to answer me?" She gazed pointedly at the hand offered her, and then up at his eyes. He shook his head, still holding that mysterious expression.

"You aren't going to answer me or you aren't going to leave me be?" Still no response, save for his smile hardening into a smirk. "You are infuriating!" She snarled, pushing back with her arms and trying to pull both legs to one side of the bed. But his arms came down on either side of her and he leaned uncomfortably close again, shaking his head in the negative. She shrunk back, startled at his sudden pounce.

Rowena felt her anger flare uncharacteristically at this, and one hand balled up into a tight little fist. "You bastard! Aren't you going to give me the courtesy of an answer, at the very least?!" He shook with silent laughter, but nothing else. He was enjoying this, she realized, and lashed out in a childish attempt to scratch his face – the only defense she felt she had.

To her utter astonishment, her slight nails had lengthened into inhuman claws. They sliced open the vampire's cheek, nose, lip. And there was suddenly a cascade of blood dripping from his visage onto her nightdress. The monster's previously silent laughter was louder now. The girl barely had time to exclaim, "What the hell?" before the scent of blood captured her.

Her tongue ran along his jaw-line of its own accord, catching first the falling blood – what was about to go to waste. Then she traveled up his cheek, catching the rivulets that welled from those lacerations. Her hands slithered up and she held herself up by his neck. One big gloved paw supported her lower back. At last, when she had cleaned up everything else, she paused. Her eyes, glazed and glowing unnaturally, zeroed in on the healing slices her fingers had left across his lips and the blood that sat there, undisturbed. There was a second that seemed to last an eternity in which her eyes met Alucard's, and he teased her with his scarlet-streaked smile. She leaned closer, eyes closed, all thought and doubt fled from her mind, and she licked that last bit of blood from his lips.

That arm that supported her pulled her nearer, sliding up her back to catch the back of her head. His lips caught with hers, silken soft and yet fierce. She could suddenly do nothing but hang there in his grasp, her body boneless, her head swirling in disbelief, clouded with fear and lust. It was a chaste kiss – the vampire did not force past her lips, but it was Rowena's first, and so even that was too much for her.

When he broke contact with her lips and pulled his head back, the girl hung, soft and malleable in his grasp. Her eyes were still closed as she let out a low, pleased sigh. With a laugh, he let her slip from his arm onto the mattress again. Rowena's eyes shot open at the sudden jolt, and she met his eyes with a mixture of shock and supreme embarrassment. Hands shot up to cover her face, which burned like the surface of the sun.

She found both movement and speech impossible at the moment. She was still trying to work out what the heck was going on in her head; Rowena had never been so utterly confused in her life. When at last she felt her heart slow down, the words begin to form in her mind, she pulled her hands away. The monster's triumphant smile undid those moments of calming thought and she found herself unable to do anything but burn in his gaze.

"Breathe!" The vampire said at last, and she sucked in a breath that she hadn't thought she was holding. She took a few gasping breaths, all the while caught helplessly in that amused smile in the monster's eyes. "I stole it, didn't I?" He laughed, pleased. "That was unfair of me." He didn't sound like he believed it.

"What?" She managed.

"Your first," he answered slowly – he knew she wasn't comprehending much right now. _You have her now and forever_, he cheered internally. "I'm sorry, shall I give it back?" He could have peed himself with joy at the look in her eyes. She had absolutely no idea what to do; she was about to burst!

"That shade of red looks quite nice on you, Little Master," he teased as her hands flew to her face again. She couldn't help but fly into a fit of nervous giggles.

Now with her eyes covered, she could think a bit again. "Why in God's name did you do that?!" Her anger returned as she remembered why she scratched him and ended up drinking his blood in the first place. "And what the hell did those claws mean?"

"Your emotions swept you away on that one – you channeled my power, child. Why do you think my blood will make you stronger?" He answered the girl, her eyes still hidden. A new wave of fury broke within her, and she growled, a bit too low for her voice.

"You provoked me, you bastard!" She grimaced, afraid to uncover her eyes, and unknowing that her teeth had sharpened slightly.

"A bit, yes." He said, nonchalantly. "It's what I do." She could take no more, and finally removed her hand to glare at him. Hands flew to his face, but she stopped when she saw her claws and the possessive expression in his eyes.

Ah, there it was again, that feeling like she was made of Jell-O.

Her hands instead cupped his face, never losing those deadly claws, and she barely whispered, a desperate note apparent, "Do it again…"

Laughing, the vampire disappeared, leaving her alone on her tangled sheets in a bloodstained nightdress. That thought, hidden deep down in the recesses of her mind, had been bidden forth by an outside force. She fell back onto her pillow, simultaneously cursing and flushed.

"Damn you!" She bitched at the empty air, "What the hell do you want from me?" There was dark laughter from everywhere in the room. "Just leave me alone! I told you I don't want your help!"

"Oh, no! I shall never leave you, Little Master!" His cackle faded into nothingness.

Rowena simply sat, flushed, running a hand disbelievingly over her lips. Though angry, she couldn't help but want that stolen kiss back.


	8. Genug

Breakfast time. Rowena tottered down the steps, trying vainly to erase the memory of Alucard's lips from her mind. No matter how she tried, she couldn't help replaying the scene in her mind – the simultaneously wondrous and terrible taste of his blood, the pull she felt when she looked in his eyes, the feeling of bonelessness that pervaded her as his arms curled about her, the caress of smooth, cool lips on her own—

"Good morning, Miss!" Walter's cheerful warble cut short her fantasy, and she felt the heat begin to radiate from her cheeks. Rowena sheepishly smiled and nodded her greeting back, stepping through the open doorway into the dining room.

_God, girl, get ahold of yourself_, she thought. _I don't even remember walking down the steps to get here._

It hadn't even hurt, had it?

She pondered on the idea as she made her way for her seat, still not really paying attention. "Well, you seem to be doing quite well today," came Integra's greeting as she flopped down the paper, "Just look at the spring in her step today, Walter!" Rowena felt a momentary flash of panic, but then realized that Integra really WAS happy.

"I suppose the therapy really is helping, eh?" Rowena added after Walter voiced his agreement. "Well, that and I took some painkiller this morning." Her lie was swift and smooth. Undetectable. Integra didn't hesitate to smile her enthusiasm in return.

"It is wonderful to see your condition improving, Rowena," and with a cheeky grin, she added, "I knew what those doctors said was bollocks!" They both laughed for a moment, before the elder returned to her paper.

Rowena turned to her plate, and caught a whiff of her food for the first time as she lifted the cover. The smell was like a punch to the face.

Absolutely revolting. Waves of stench hit her like the gas escaping from a bloated corpse.

Of course, the elder Hellsing and the butler both noticed as she rocked back in the chair. They could clearly see the color drain from her face as she gulped and grimaced at the plate. Integra peered over her paper. "Is something wrong?" she queried as the girl picked up a fork and prodded the omelet on her plate.

"Were the eggs used in this ok? Something smells wrong to me." And at the sound of Walter's protest from the doorway, she quickly added, "Of course, it's probably just me! I must be coming down with a cold or something. Sorry, Walter." He grumbled his forgiveness.

She turned her attention back to the plate, which still smelled as appalling as ever. Trying not to breathe, she picked up a forkful and brought it to her mouth. As soon as it touched her tongue, she felt her spine go rigid. It was even more horrible than the smell had led her to believe.

It was dry and powdery as ash.

And it burned!

But she fought the compulsion to spit it out and swallowed the vile stuff. With that, she paused a moment, gazing around for something to wash it away with. The glass of water! That would do it!

And so she swept it up and took a gulp. Paused. Took another. Paused. Took another.

Nothing.

The taste was gone, but her mouth was still ashen and dry as the desert. Odd. _Well, perhaps one more is all I need to clear it out._ But it did nothing save make her thirstier. She set the glass aside and decided that perhaps she was imagining this whole business, or that perhaps a certain red-coated someone was messing with her head.

To her dismay, the food still tasted horrid, still burned, and was still like taking a bite of the Sahara. Her stomach gurgled dangerously. Clutching her rather angry belly, she pushed herself back from the table and frantically fumbled with her crutches. Walter rushed over and Integra seemed to spring forward in her seat.

"Are you alright?" They both cried in unison. All Rowena managed was a shake of the head before she stumbled hurriedly to the nearest washroom.

The crutches had clattered out of her hands beside the toilet and she was practically throwing herself over the bowl when she gazed over and saw that the door was hanging open. Panicked footsteps were approaching. Over top of her rising nausea, she felt the twist of terror at the thought of either of them seeing her vomit blood.

Just as it occurred to her, the door swung shut, the vampire's back against it as he casually observed her sickened face. His deadly handsome features were contorted into a disappointed smirk. A fist pounded on the other side and the vampire rolled his eyes as Integra called, "Are you alright, Rowena?"

The girl was silent for a moment as her insides burned and wrenched, her eyes swirling embarrassedly from the door, to the monster's face, to the bowl. Integra called again, and the vampire made a rolling motion with his hand, clearly annoyed.

Her stomach wanted more than anything to be rid of its contents, but she clenched it down under such close scrutiny. The effort caused her to let loose a low, weak moan, and the small bit of relaxation that afforded caused her to immediately lean over the bowl and retch. But she fought it the whole way.

_Stupid child._ The voice in her head was caustic, more a snarl than words. _You know what happened last night when food and blood mixed in your gullet. I have no pity for you. _ He stood there and glared until she finished, minding the door for her.

Integra stood on the other side, waiting until the violence subsided, and when things sounded safe, she asked, "Rowena, is everything alright in there?"

The girl lifted her gaze from the bowl, her eyes darkened and her face splotched with force. There were streams of tears rolling down her face. "I – I think its done for now…. I'm going to clean up and go back to bed, I feel horrible." Her voice popped and rasped. It was the truth too – she felt that that spring, that painlessness that had accompanied her walk to the dining room was gone, flushed down the commode with the blood and the few bites of breakfast she had stomached. Integra replied her assent and spirited back to breakfast.

She managed to awkwardly push herself up to sit on the closed lid of the toilet; a pathetic, pale little figure in contrast to the great black shape that stood in the doorway, sizing her up. She sat, momentarily transfixed in his gaze, unable to even grab anything and wipe away her tears. Shame was the only thing she understood right now, the only thing that filled her poor, purged little frame.

The first thought that ran through her mind was something like this: _He shall never want to kiss something so repellant and foolish as I again_. The second it was thought she wanted to shrivel away in her skin and hide. Her own mind, and her hormones, had betrayed her.

But the beast simply laughed. A low, soft sound this time so as not to bring anyone running. He murmured, "Do not fear for that, Little One. I wouldn't want to do so now, but there are plenty of kisses for good girls who drink their blood and avoid food."

His words struck a nerve and she stood, nearly falling in the process. It hurt like hell, but she took a wavering step to him and stared him down. "Get out of my head you manipulating creep! I'm done with this garbage and I'm going to heal on my own. I don't want your help, I don't want any of this! Leave me alone!" Her voice was sharp, full of fury, full of pain that was bitten back.

"A strong claim for someone so very weak; for someone in so much pain," he grinned, intoning maliciously, "We'll see what you really want in the end. I'll see you beg me for blood before I feed you again, proud Little Hellsing." He leered at her, a knowing expression flitting over his features.

"Don't count on it, Alucard. A Hellsing begging her servant?"

"You are not my master and you never will be!" He spat, the venom of his words almost clawing her.

"I beg to differ!" Rowena huffed, faltering where she stood. The vampire advanced on her and she found it impossible not to retreat a step or two.

"You just did beg," he rumbled, towering above her. "And you will again, child. You fear me, just like your father. You reek of terror." Rowena felt her anxiety double, triple. He could smell it. He laughed at the bewilderment that flickered across her face as he leaned closer to draw in her scent. Then suddenly, he turned and made for the door. Before he passed through the wood, he shot a very smug look in her direction, his thoughts echoing in her mind:

_You shall call __**ME**__ "Master" before this is through._

When he had gone, she sank to the floor with a muffled cry of anguish. The gut-wrenching pain she had endured last night, which the blood had taken away, had returned. She clutched her legs to herself for a moment and simply sat, grinding her teeth together to keep from crying aloud. She had forced it down when she stood, enflamed with hatred, but now, she welcomed it. It was a fitting punishment for dallying with him.

No painkillers for her today.

It would be a fresh start, and she would do the exercises and the work all on her own. She would deal with the pain, she would stand with nothing else but her own broken strength.

_If it means never dancing again…. Never truly walking again,_ she thought, feeling her eyes prickle dangerously, _well… then so be it._

She set her jaw and set to work on tightening the fixtures of her leg braces. "I'll stiffen the knees so I don't fall again. I'll waddle and stumble like an idiot, like a baby learning to walk. I'll use the bloody lift. Start from square one and build them up again." She growled to herself as she worked, pulling straps and twisting bolts. After a momentary scrabble for her crutches, she edged her way to the toilet bowl and climbed up backwards. From there she pushed herself standing, cursing and hissing all the while.

_All right, I'm vertical at the very least_, she thought, gasping around the pain. And she awkwardly swung her straight leg forward. Something jumped in her knee, causing her to fumble, reach for the offending joint, and loose a high whine of pain. She crashed into the counter and held herself erect with pure will.

Tears burst forth again as she looked at her knee and saw a disturbing trench where her kneecap formerly sat. With a mixture of both horror and relief, she found it sitting on the side of her knee, intact. A trembling hand shoved it back until it popped into place with a revolting crunch. "Start from…. square one," she panted, rearranging herself and lurching out of the bathroom.

It was a slow, stiff-legged trip searching for the lift, as her room was up a few flights of stairs from this location. It was a direction she could not go without the aid of bending knees. But she forced herself. And she cried the whole way up in the lift – it something she had prided herself on not using since her arrival, and using it felt like… failure.

To relax and fall into bed was utter heaven, but she allowed herself only a moment as she dug in the drawer for her sheets of exercises.

"I'll bloody show him who will be master of whom!"

"You will now?" Came the reply from the dark corner by her closet. She shot a death glare in the vampire's direction, though she could not see him. "So the little cripple has grown a backbone. Perhaps she will be a master to be proud of after all…"

And she began to tear the braces away from her legs as she sat there, her hands working with a ferocity that she could not express in words. The monster stepped into the late morning light, now properly dressed for the day in all of his regalia.

"Or perhaps she will succumb…" He studied the back of his gloves absently, then locked eyes with her as she massaged the muscles of her calves in warm-up. "How delicious it will be to hear the word 'Master' from your lips, and to feel your little fingers peel these accursed seals from my hands."

Rowena outwardly paid him no mind, but part of her still wondered, what would have happened had his manipulating words not infuriated her so. If she had allowed herself to be guided by lust... She shook her head and focused on the task at hand – flexing and stretching her ankle. It was not easy with the monster standing by, watching her every breath.

Was that smell wafting about the room him? She paused without thinking, to smell the breeze that danced in through the open window. The vampire edged towards her so that the breeze whipped through his hair, and she realized to her horror, it was indeed him she was smelling. Or rather, his blood.

They both heard the loud, wet noise her throat made as she gulped. The nosferatu chuckled smugly. "I think it is only a matter of time. How I can't wait to hear you beg…" He stepped back, laughing, into the shadow.

A/N: Hey everyone, I'm back. Once again, I apologize for my sporadic writing. I know this story has been going on forever, and I'm actually ahead of the game right now. I've had a bit more time as of late to write - I am spending a college semester abroad in Germany and have more free time (I'm not working on any science stuff right now - normally I'm a busy bio major). So I actually have two more chapters beyond this one in draft right now. I think they need some more editing, but I'm going to try to get them posted one each over a period of two weeks starting after Oct 19th (I'm going to be on a small vacation with my mother in Germany! :D) So anyway, I'm glad for those of you who have stuck with it for so damn long. Please read and enjoy, and be sure to give me any feedback that you might have, be it bad or good. I'm all for improving my work.

Also - Hirano has finally finished writing Hellsing!! And YAY for the ending! I won't spoil it for anybody who hasn't read it though. But I suggest getting your hands on a copy of Young King Ours (it'll be in Japanese, but the images are enough for me to rejoice over...).

The return to Evil!Bastard!card makes me so ridiculously happy. Also, having a patellar dislocation (kneecap flying out off to the side) sucks HARD. Normally its an athletic injury, but in this case, pretty much anything is athletic for Ro' after having torn a bunch of connective tissue in her knee (which holds that junk in place).

Please don't forget to review!

With love for the readers, Megan.


	9. Links, Rechts, G'radeaus

Night was descending on Hellsing manor. Rowena laid in bed, awake, her stomach roaring like a starving lion. Three days had passed since her falling out with Alucard, which meant three days in which no blood had touched her lips (for that she was thankful) nor any human food. That puzzled her. Every time she got close, she found her appetite gone, thanks to the awful stench. However, not a bit of Alucard's blood remained in her stomach, she had purged it all that first morning.

The past three days had brought the difficult task of making her food disappear - thankfully Walter had agreed to bring it to her room and leave her "eat" there. Her inability to eat was making her more than a bit weak, but she told them it was a stomach bug and it should be gone soon.

Right now, however, it was the thirst that kept her awake. She felt like she could drink a thousand litres of water and it would not be slaked. She had tried to do so yesterday, and all that happened was that she got thirstier. So she gave up that pursuit and returned her attention to her flexibility exercises. The strength workout was a bit beyond her at the moment.

When that grew tiresome, she scooped up Stoker's Dracula and resumed reading the required chapters (which Integra had assigned). They had been talking about vampires for quite some time now, but with Stoker, they had begun to specifically discuss his ideas and also the Van Helsing family of old. They would soon begin to discuss Alucard and his particulars, but that was not for a week or so at least. She was, however, behind on this particular reading assignment.

As she read, she came across something rather foreboding. She was fairly far along into the work – in fact, she knew it was not long until the hunters caught the monster. Dracula had already done away with Mina's friend, and was now closing in on her. As she read, the monster snuck into Mina's chamber, called her up from sleep, and drew her to his breast. He held her there and … forced her to drink his blood.

Rowena slammed the book shut with a shudder, only to find Alucard laying out across her bed. His form had been hidden by the open book, and his face appeared very suddenly as the book shut. She jumped, then stiffened up at the sight of him.

"Something frighten you, dear child?" He asked slyly, knowing perfectly well what she had read.

"Bad writing," she laughed dryly.

"You cannot lie, not at all," he smiled jauntily, gazing at her over the rims of his glasses.

"It helps when the person being lied to can read thoughts." She grumbled, reaching for another book to read. The vampire snatched it out of her hand as she brought it to herself.

"Ah, Leroux's Phantome…" He said with an air of nostalgia, "Not bad. You seem to be quite a fan of this Frenchman and his opera ghost."

"Why does that concern you?" She snapped grumpily. "And why are you talking to me all of a sudden after three days of ignoring me?" The vampire grinned, but did not look up from leafing through the book.

"I wanted to pay you a visit, that's all. See how you are managing with eating human food again." The look in his eyes as he nonchalantly scanned the page said that he knew already.

Rowena set her jaw, "Why does it matter to you what I'm eating? I'm not—"

And her stomach chose that moment to rumble, rather loudly.

"Or what you AREN'T eating, it seems," his eyes shot up to her face. "Isn't three days the limit for a human to survive without water?"

"I have water in my system from yesterday," she said.

"It just makes it worse, doesn't it?" The vampire finished her thought for her. She crossed her arms over her chest and set her face into a scowl.

"Go away."

"Why should I? You hold no sway over me with your words." He set the book aside and gazed her pointedly in the eye. She was the first to look away.

"Just leave me alone, I want to sleep."

"Your body wouldn't let you sleep in a thousand years if it remained this thirsty." Every time he spoke, the vampire drew closer, his eyes scanning her face and somehow the thoughts behind it.

"**You're** making it worse!" She barked, and she could feel her teeth go all sharp as she involuntarily breathed before speaking. She gasped and hands clapped over her mouth in horror.

"Good, then I'll stay and perhaps you'll give up this foolishness. Do you know what will happen if you continue for much longer?" He leaned towards her on his elbows, his gaze very intently locked with her own.

She lifted her chin high and set her jaw against him. "I'll starve, and it will be infinitely better to die as a free woman than to allow myself to grovel at your feet and be enslaved by my thirst."

"Be enslaved by me," he corrected, his eyes narrowing as his mouth slid into a jaunty little smirk. She felt a thrill of fear… and something else that fluttered in her stomach. She tried to focus on the fear. "But if you die, it would not be as a human – you have not become my kind yet, but you would become like a ghoul before you died. Do you want that end? Do you want Integra to see that?"

"I think it would be worse for her to hear me call you …" she trailed off, realizing she was about to inadvertently call him 'master'.

"Call me what?" He was very close now, so that she could smell his breath. What, before, had smelled rotten to her, the revolting stench of the grave, now was sweet as a breeze off an orchard. It was absolutely mouthwatering.

"What you call Integra. A word I have very consciously decided not to say." Her eyes jumped back to the book which she now swept up again. A shiver ran up her spine – there was that feeling like a hand caressing her hair, a wrinkle in her thoughts. _Klopf, Klopf… Lass mich rein*…_ She jolted as the words passed through her mind, in her own native German, and yet… not hers.

"You are thinking about kissing me," he laughed. Her eyes darted up from the written words in horror, but quickly flew from his face again in embarrassment. "And about calling me Master." She looked up at him again, unable to help it. As she stared agape, his smile grew wider and wider. "How much longer will it be before you break?" His hand slid up and brushed her throat, and Rowena's breath whooshed out past her lips. She was momentarily dazzled at the icy chill of his skin through his gloves. His voice was wickedly smooth, like the caress of a fallen angel's wing on her ears, "Certainly much too long for me…" He leaned close and took in the scent of her blood. His hair fell in a cascade down her front as his nose skimmed her neck. At last, when she regained her senses, she leaned back from him, pushing him away. This time, he allowed himself to be shoved.

"Keep dreaming, monster. I'm never going to belong to you!" Her words were chopped and short, as she was attempting to hold her breath. He was so close! "I'll die first." She paused, but he did not back away. She held her breath for a moment longer, and he smiled, staying right where he was, watching her intently. Their eyes were locked in a fiercely stubborn contest. _You're holding your breath. That means my scent tempts you._ His grin widened. _You can't hold it forever, unlike me._

And when it became painful, she relaxed a bit. As he perceived her about to take a breath, he laughed. Internally, she cursed him, but the scent of his breath gusting past her face was so delicious that she could not stop her hand from jerking towards his neck. "No, you won't let yourself starve," he murmured triumphantly as he caught her hand in his, squeezing it powerfully.

And then dropped it and sat up, observing her down the bridge of his nose. "Ah, but one as old as I should have more patience. After all, you WILL come to me when your thirst gets unbearable, and then I shall make you eat all your strong, independent words. Then your vocabulary will consist of 'mercy', 'master', 'please', and 'thank you'." The girl felt her stomach twist sharply at this thought. But what scared her the most was the little heady swirl of pleasure that caused. She crushed it down, pinching her eyes shut and trying to think to herself just how repulsive this monster was, and how he liked to meddle with her mind. His cascade of devilish laughter seemed to crowd the room in its closeness. "None of that is my doing, child. Your reaction which so scares you is **all your own**."

He brushed a thumb along her lips and vanished, his whisper trailing off into the night, "_Ich weiss, dass du es willst…**_" For a moment she sat and let his words play over in his head. The sound of those words, speaking directly to the heart of a half-German child, rang like her mother's voice in her ears. They left a sting in her heart and roiled in her gut like a mass of spawning snakes. What the hell was he to her anymore?

There was fear between them, in the beginning. Then she saw that he could be caring; he had comforted her when she feared never walking on her own again. Sure, he was attractive, but… still something of her nightmares. She wasn't sure where to place the affection he had shown, not anymore. He had, however, supported her through that early therapy… But then came that dancing… and the injury. She had thought, at the time, that he really wanted to celebrate her great leaps in strength. But looking back, was it just a game? It had seemed so very friendly, and almost… fatherly that he would care for her. But in the past week, the closer he had come, the deeper she was enveloped in his shadow. His touch was just… more. He had _kissed_ her. Fathers didn't kiss on the lips, did they? Her father had been around until she was five, and never had Richard done that.

Certainly they didn't pin you down, or act in some of the other ways the vampire did.

No, this was lightyears past any sort of innocent interest. The creature very much wanted **her**, or at least made her feel that way.

She shut off the lamp and lay there, pining for sleep and for the friendly, if slightly awkward way things had been between her and the vampire before the dance, before the blood and the struggle had come between them.

***

Another two days had passed. This was her fifth day without any real food. She had attempted several times to no avail to eat, only resulting in painful dry heaves. Water was something she managed to keep in her, and even though it made her blood-thirst worse, she was still living.

She was so weak that even reading had lost its draw for her. She simply laid in bed and faded in and out of consciousness. It was not quite sleep, but it was painless when she fainted away. Integra and Walter came in and visited frequently, to check on her, as it was clear this was more than a simple stomach bug.

"We're sending for the doctor first thing in the morning," Integra had said late on the evening of the fifth day, "I thought at first perhaps it was a sort of stomach virus, but this is worrisome. Rowena, are you sure you're not hiding anything from us? Eating disorders, perhaps? You needn't be ashamed if that's the case. Anorexia is a serious disease, and I would not admonish you for it. If you have it, it isn't something you can help." The girl shook her head no, but found that the room spun, and then held still. Inside, she was panicking that the doctor might find some clue as to what was going on with her, and so, when the two left for the evening, she called the monster to her side.

He slipped out of the shadows from under her bed, slithering up beside her. "Ah, giving in I take it?"

"No," she croaked. "They're calling a doctor for me tomorrow. Is there any way he'll know…?."

The vampire shook his head. "You show no outward symptoms of vampirism, simply the inability to eat."

"But they are going to be watching me – Integra thinks I am anorexic."

"You are, in a way," he remarked, placing a hand on his chin. After a moment of silence, he smirked at her from the corner of his vision. "You could change all of this, you know."

"I think Integra would notice if I got better and didn't continue to eat," she scoffed, "besides, I'm not giving in to you, no matter what you believe."

"This business is headed there at any rate, Little One. You will either waste away and die a ghoul, or lie in the bed that you've made and beg me to feed you again. Either way, Integra will see you brought low." He walked across the room and stared out the window. "With option number two you continue to exist, without starving and without dealing with the pain you have now. You will be able to walk, to run, to dance, even. I don't see how giving up your headship of the family and perhaps a bit of personal freedom would be worse than death."

"It's more than a bit of personal freedom, and with it goes my dignity." Her voice cracked dryly.

"Dignity? I believe that was forfeit when you accepted my help the first time," he scoffed.

"Don't give me that load of garbage – you deceived me! I had no idea I was giving anything up!" She clenched tired little fists and found her form suddenly rigid with rage.

"I did not lie when I said only a little bit of my blood would not immediately make you a vampire." He laughed. "You did not take the opportunity to examine the situation any deeper. And you were not completely ignorant – I could hear your little silent arguments." The vampire turned his back, strolling to the window. "_**Keine**__ kann dir sagen, wer die guten und die bösen sind_," he intoned sarcastically. „_Integra hat dir vor mir gewarnt. Trotzdem hast du mich vertraut_***."

Rowena fell limp and silent, unable to come up with a response to this. She HAD been at fault to trust the vampire that night – to dance with him. She should have taken her injury then to Integra and been truthful. But now, she had made things a thousand times worse. She closed her eyes and rolled over, turning her back on the vampire. So selfish. She had been so foolish and selfish.

"Wanting to walk wasn't selfish-" he began, but he was cut off.

"_Verarsch mich NICHT_*!" She snapped, reverting to the tongue she had learned first in blind fury. English had another term for what she had said, but did not express it properly. "I wanted something I knew I couldn't have – that IS selfish! I don't need you to talk down to me right now, nor do I need your persuasive bullshit! I more than know that I've screwed up." He laughed once, a deep sound in his throat.

"Such language!", he puffed out a bemused breath through his nose, "As the future leader of Hellsing, you **should** be able to make your own decisions. _Keine kann dir sagen welche Türen die richtigen sind… Du musst mit deinen Wählen leben._**"

"Shut up, and keep it in English. I've heard enough of you abusing my language. ," she scowled at him through her watering eyes. Actually, he pronounced German beautifully, but once again it irritated her to be reminded of her mother, and it muddled her thought process, brought her back to younger years. She was sure he was counting on that. "I have reason to be upset – upset at MYSELF – when, by my own fault, I'm either going to lose my mind and die, or," she gulped, her voice strained, "bow down to you for the rest of eternity."

"Not entirely true, child." He opened the window now, to allow his scent to float around her, and she knew he'd done it for that reason too. "I can give you your freedom, you know, if I desire."

"You would never do it."

"You don't know that."

"I know you relish the thought of me … belonging to you, so why would you give that up?"

"That's a good question…." He turned back to her and paced over from the window again. She rolled over at the sound of his proximity. "But how bad could it be, belonging to a man that you are attracted to?"

Rowena took the opportunity to flush and avert her eyes. Reading her thoughts rather brusquely, the vampire nodded, turned back around, and faced the window with hands clasped behind his back. His smile had never been wider. _This one has such a vivid imagination!_, he snickered silently to himself. _Even still she cannot fathom what it means to be mine…_

"I thought not," was his spoken reply. But the girl said nothing, and as the vampire stared out into the moonlight, he grew impatient. "Perhaps you need some help deciding." And with that he bit into his finger.

A/N: Yes, if I had not expressed it already, Rowena is half –German. That would be thanks to her mother (offed by suicide if you have forgotten, which is why Rowena doesn't like being reminded). Also, think about what Richard Hellsing calls Integra at the beginning of the series when he is about to kill her ('Fräulein'!). I always thought about that and wondered… why does he use that? Perhaps he married a german woman and therefore uses the language a lot?? So yeah, that was the whole stem for this idea. I don't THIIIINK I've mentioned it before within the track of the story… but honestly, even though Rowena has an accent (not too terribly thick), she learned english parallel to learning German, so she speaks colloquial english fine. There was no way I was going to write an entire story with a character speaking with an "accent" written into the type. That pisses me off to read, so I figured everyone else would be appreciative.

I'm sorry if this chapter seemed to contain GRATUITOUS!GERMAN but really… it was essential to the feel of the chapter for me. A good portion of it comes from lyrics, actually. This chapter was inspired by the song 'Labyrinth' by the German rock band Oomph!. Really, I think that sound could be the soundtrack to this whole story, now that I look back. In fact, this calls for a title change!! I'm not going to rant about my themes for you guys (since I've been asked not to), but I will give a translation of the German I've used, as well as a translation the song lyrics.

*"Knock, knock, let me in!" – lyrics from Labyrinth.

**"I know, that you want it…" – an easter egg for fans of Oomph. Almost the title of another song of theirs, "Ich Weiss Du Willst Es Doch Auch" (I know you want it too)

***"Nobody can tell you who the good and evil are" – more lyrics from Labyrinth. He also says, "Integra warned you of me. In spite of this, you have trusted me."

*The English equivalent of this is, "Quit f**king with me!" as far as swearing intensity goes, but the literal translation is more like, "Quit assing/messing with me!"

**"Nobody can tell you which doors are right" – more Labyrinth lyrics. Also, "You must live with your choices."

Labyrinth – Oomph! (Orig. German.)

*Please note, this is my own stylistic translation, it is not completely word for word literal (I've tried to make it sound less awkward in English word order and the order of a few lines.)

Left, right, straight ahead,  
You'll never get out of here

The madness has locked you up,  
And twisted your holy world.  
It's taken root in your head.  
Run, child, run,  
As fast as you can!

You don't know who you are anymore,  
You don't know what love is anymore,  
Your reflection has distorted itself.  
Nobody's here to stand by you.

Knock, Knock,  
Let me in  
Let me be your secret  
Knock, Knock! Knock, Knock!  
(x 2)

Left, right, straight ahead,  
You're in the Labyrinth,  
Nobody can tell you which doors are right,  
My lost child

Left, right, straight ahead,  
You're in the Labyrinth,  
Nobody can tell you who is good and evil,  
My lost child

You have often banished me,  
My anger consumes your heart in flames.  
In your head,  
I've built a second I,  
A second skin,  
If I dive into your soul,  
And use you for my desire,  
Then I'll dazzle your mind,  
Only you can end this game…

Knock, Knock… (x 2)

Left, right, straight ahead,  
You're in the Labyrinth… (x 2)

Knock, Knock… (x 2)

Left, right, straight ahead,  
You'll never get out of here

Ahhhhh, this sounds sooo much more eloquent in German, but I translated it so you could all understand. If you're interested, go youtube the song and give it a listen. :D Preferably with the band's music video! Also, I didn't intersperse the whole song in there because I already have a chapter like that, and it gets old fast. GAH long author's note, sorry. Please read, enjoy, and let me know how I'm doing.


	10. Verlornes Kind

Chapter 10: Lost Child

Despite her weakness, the girl felt her whole body go rigid – taut as a bowstring ready to snap. The monster turned around holding his finger out before him, watching bemusedly as every muscle on the girl's slim frame stood out. He said nothing, but strode closer and stood over the bed.

She ratcheted her eyes shut and was clenching her jaw. Once again, she was attempting to hold her breath. But he merely stood, silently watching, holding that single drop of blood on his finger.

She began to turn red. Alucard smiled, and Rowena opened her eyes to see if the coast was clear. When she spied him, holding his bloody finger up and grinning, she lifted her nearest hand and angrily saluted him with one of her own. The monster laughed heartily, taken quite by surprise.

But now she was beginning to turn purple, and finally, she had to suck in a breath. The resulting exhale was a low, listless whine. With one lungful of the intoxicating scent, she could not help but drink in another deep breath. Her eyes were trained on the lone droplet, unable to turn from its red sparkle as the moonlight hit it. Human blood didn't do that.

Her awareness flashed back to her with that thought, and a small hand slid up to her throat, clutching at it desperately. _I don't want it I don't want it I don't want it…_ Tears streamed down her face with effort. She balled up her other fist, and still held herself very stiff, but now did not cease breathing. She took long, slow breaths, and the vampire could see her shudder with pain at each one.

"You are tougher than I thought," he mused at last. "Ah well," he sighed, "I guess you don't want it then." And his long tongue slithered out, slowly arching towards the blood. Rowena suddenly found herself sitting up before him, reaching for his hand. The tongue halted its slow progress, snapping back into his mouth. The hand was wrenched away, out of her reach.

"Do you want it?" he asked, an eyebrow arching teasingly. She yanked her hand back, hugging it protectively to her chest. Her head shook a very emphatic "no", and the little Hellsing began to painfully lie back down. But as soon as he made another move to lick it, her hand caught onto his wrist.

"Ah!" he scolded, peeling her hand away from his. "A good little girl doesn't grab, she asks politely." Rowena felt her stomach rising up to catch in her throat. Her body was betraying her. He moved to eat it again, but before he could do so, and before she could stop herself, she interjected:

"Yes, I want it!" and then hung her head as the vampire stopped to smile at her.

"Do you?" he replied, slow and arrogant. His eyes shone with the glow of hellfire. "Ask me nicely."

"May I please… have it?" she responded, her voice small and very soft. Her eyes never left the bedspread.

"May you please have what?" His tone was condescending, like a correcting father.

"May I please have… y-your blood?" She stumbled, her face burning.

"And what else are you forgetting, Little One?" His voice was now no longer fatherly, but dark and frighteningly triumphant. Rowena felt her shoulders slump and she dared not look up at him now. A large hand wrenched her chin up to look at him. Her eyes fell on his for just a moment before they flicked back down, but she already knew what he was speaking of.

She felt that her face was so hot that it might melt. She was suddenly very lightheaded, and the room pitched and spun about her as she fixed her gaze on her legs. Her eyes never moved from their atrophied shapes as she whispered her answer, finally stuttering out that last word: "…. M-m-master?"

The vampire's victorious chuckle caused the tears to well up behind her eyes, and she pinched them shut, her hands swooping up to hide her face. "Look at me when you are asking me a question, and speak up. I want to hear you say my name!"

_God… he's enjoying this_. She turned her eyes up to him, and found that they strayed quickly away from his. It took her a moment to simply hold his mocking gaze. To say that word while looking him in the eye was the most difficult thing she'd ever done; harder even than standing on her own anymore. His haughty smile bored into her from his superior height, boastfully reinforcing her defeat. She stuttered, stumbled, and choked back a lump in her throat. Once it was said, her hands returned to her face.

"Good girl," he said, suddenly very warmly. She felt her insides squirming and wrenching. _Filthy, horrible little whore_, she reprimanded herself. _Disgusting, weak child._

"Don't say such things about yourself," came the vampire's gentle reply. His hand came down to smooth over her hair, and she felt the mattress dip as he sat next to her. "You are pure, and you shall be mine alone. You cannot be a whore, in any sense of the word." She pulled her hands from her face, but did not look at him.

_His_. She shuddered. _His alone. _

_A whore of the devil,_ insisted that voice that sounded all too much like Integra. She couldn't tell it to shut up this time.

_How often this voice tells her that_, the vampire mused. "A bride," the vampire corrected aloud, patiently, "Not a whore." The use of the former term, and the fact that he hadn't corrected 'devil', caused her to panic even more, picturing things she had been forcing herself not to since his lips first met hers.

"Do you want the blood or not?" He asked, finally, cutting in over her… _rather amusing…_ train of thought. She nodded (_traitor_), and without meeting his eyes, turned and reached for his hand. It was snatched away from her, and she shot a surprised glance at him. He shook his head, "Don't grab." So she sat there, simply waiting, unable to meet his eyes or say a word. After a moment, the finger was offered again, and feeling the tears threatening to fall, she leaned forward.

The monster watched as the little girl, with eyes shut, leaned to meet his hand and parted her lips, about to lick the blood away. He took the opportunity to press the tip of his finger into her mouth. She gasped around it, but the taste of blood kept her from pulling away immediately. A little tongue brushed the pad of his finger and the beast pressed it just a bit further in, softly commanding, "Lutsch!*"

He barely kept his composure as she began, her cheeks blossoming crimson, to suck on his finger. Playing with this one was more fun than he could have imagined! She had stood up to him, which was fascinating to watch in itself, but now that she had given in… He felt something fierce clawing in his gut, then down in his loins, and had to fight back a great wave of raucous laughter. _I'm going to knock down every one of her walls. Then I'll rebuild her how I see fit. This girl will be a great work of art, something that will shred Integra's heart to see!_ A bit of his glee slipped past his lips as a chuckle, as he pulled his finger from her mouth. "Good girl," he encouraged, watching her blurry-eyed expression brighten, the cloying clouds of adoration thicken, at his praise.

That first taste of Alucard was exquisite, like the first swallow of water after ages in the desert. It left Rowena wide awake and even thirstier, if possible. Breathing was suddenly difficult, made even more painful than before by the taste of blood in her mouth. It floated through her nostrils at every breath, merely teasing. Her hands fisted urgently in his shirt and she pulled herself to him, unaware of any pain in her limbs as she moved to the source of the blood.

"May I have more?" She asked, her voice muffled in the fabric of his shirt. Then she added, just now remembering, "-Master?" Her throat was parched, almost as rough as sandpaper as she choked out the plea around teeth that were suddenly much too large. But she took notice of none of this, simply burying her face against him and bathing in the scent of heaven. She felt his chest heave as he laughed.

"You aren't to fight me again. Understand?" The words rolled through her like a physical force, and she found herself unable to do anything but nod against him, clutching like a hungry child to its mother. A big hand slid down gently from her shoulder blades to the small of her back, urging her to rise up on her knees a bit more. "That's my girl," he said, shrugging the shoulder of his shirt with far too much ease. Within moments, the blood was flowing, pooling up from his self-inflicted wound. And milliseconds later, the girl's lips were locked over it, nursing ravenously. She'd forgotten all about the humiliation and the titles that had now arisen between them. Higher thought processes were abandoned, overtaken by pure animal hunger.

He sunk back against her headboard, relaxation pervading his form at the feel of the little Hellsing's lips. Sharing his blood with another was something he had not done so often in his unlife. The last had been Seras, but that poor child was so far gone that he'd almost needed to pour his blood into her mouth. Before that there had been… ah yes… that had been a truly marvelous game…

The feel of another set of remembered lips ghosted over his skin. In his mind's eye, Alucard saw her face, kissed with that radiant olive hue. Curtains of silky black hair had always framed it, and extraordinarily long eyelashes had shaded her deep black eyes. Saumya's kiss had always been sweetest when she'd tasted his blood first.

A soft hand trailed over his chest, followed by a timid voice, "Master?" He returned to consciousness as he noticed the smaller shape shift against him. One red eye opened and located her face in the darkness. The Hellsing was nestled in the crook of his arm and had laid her head on his shoulder, but at the moment she lifted her head, gazing sadly at him.

"What is it, pet?"

"Who was that woman?" Ah, such an innocent little child. He'd forgotten that she'd share his memory along with his blood.

"Someone I greatly loved. We were persecuted for being together," he smoothly replied, shining a bright and pleasant light on what had really taken place. She was silent for a moment as she lied back down on his shoulder.

"If you were to… kiss me… would you think of her?"

_Was that a note of jealousy? Oh ho!_

"Now, why would you think that?" He retorted, feigning insult.

"Well, you thought of her just now, when I drank your blood."

"Am I not allowed to think back on my past?" He replied, still sounding terribly hurt to Rowena, "I have an awful lot of it." Rowena looked down at her hand, which splayed across his chest.

"I didn't say that – I just…" She trailed off, clearly uncomfortable.

"You just what?"

"I just wondered if… I'm second best to you, that's all," she mumbled, "I mean, I'm sure I am… you just wanted to hear a Hellsing call you 'Master'." And the vampire scoffed, sitting up and dumping her form on the mattress beside him. She really was very clever, under that blinding veil of virginity and youth. But yet, OH so stupid.

"You think I'm playing a game with you?" His tone was devastated, disbelieving. "You think I'd just give my blood away to someone who didn't matter to me at all?"

She stared up at him in wordless stupor, unsure of what to say.

"Haven't I healed you before, when I caused you to hurt yourself?"

"Yes," she murmured meekly. _But I still say he's trying to gain something from all of this_, Rational Rowena cut in.

"And didn't you ask me for my help this time?" He was answered with a soft little nod. "And have I not helped you? Do your legs hurt you now?" She shook her head, noting that they really DIDN'T hurt. In fact, she had moved them just a moment ago with no problem as well.

"But you lied to me!"

"Perhaps you did not think that I wanted you for my own, and that's why I lied to you about becoming a vampire!" He retorted. "Does that lessen the fact that I care for you?" His face was etched with sorrow.

"No," she whispered at last, feeling herself choke up at his reaction. _He really does care for me? He really does want me!?_ Lovesick Rowena squeaked. Her rational side was silent, subdued by the ache that was growing in her heart. She slid back towards him again, reaching out and wrapping her arms around the vampire's midsection. She laid her head lightly on his chest. A very large pair of arms surrounded her. "I'm sorry for doubting, but when I'm right there with you, and you are thinking of kissing someone else-"

But her thought was silenced as he trapped her mouth with his. This time was not so chaste, as he caught her mid-sentence. The feeling of cool, firm lips on hers, of his mouth moving surely, powerfully over her own, caused Rowena's insides to liquefy. Her heart thundered harder than she thought possible. Her nails dug desperately into the back of his neck, and she pressed so close to him that she felt they two would melt together. Her white flag rose, a sigh of defeat against his lips. He had so overwhelmed her with experience that she'd had no chance to fight back. Not that she minded particularly. And with one last taste of her, he pulled away.

"What were you saying?" He chuckled, grinning down at her. _Poor thing is absolutely flabbergasted…_ Swollen lips formed a surprised little 'o' as she simply stared. "I guess that answers your question, doesn't it?" She smiled, her expression full of something that Alucard thought bordered on worship. After a moment of silent warmth between the two of them, the Midian stood.

The back of his hand brushed across her cheek and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Gute Nacht**, my _little Master_," he said, laughingly, " I should leave you to get some sleep."

In the darkness, little fingers reached out for the vampire's hand, and he squeezed back. Her voice was very soft, sleep-heavy as she bid him not to. "Bitte… bleiben Sie.***" Alucard felt his mouth curl involuntarily; her tone was a bit higher than normal – immature. And, not only that, but she had addressed him as a superior… And he realized then, that prompting her to begin speaking German again had been wise. Perhaps it would foster her trust again, bring her closer…

So her fall before Integra would hurt that much more.

A/N: Wow… it was incredibly… interesting to finally write this. Kind of emotionally difficult – it certainly put me through the wringer. But of course, it wasn't all bad as I'm a fan of … shall we say… alternative *coughDom/subcough* relationships. I almost titled this chapter "Total Power Exchange"… but despite its aptness for the growing relationship… it would have been a dead giveaway.

Poor little thing is so FREAKIN' under his thrall. I think I would be equally hypnotized, even if I doubted his reasons and his loyalty to me. I'm pretty sure his incredible hotness and … presence would cancel all that out and just leave me drooling.

Oh, and I just realized that vampires + sparklies = FAIL. No I wasn't trying to emulate "Twilight" in any way… I just thought it would be cool to show that Alucard's blood had a different quality to it. His blood does seem to have a strange gloss/glow to it in the moonlight when you see it in the anime (H. Ultimate). And that is all that I was trying to capture here; no "bling" vampires in this story. Nuh-uh!

German: *Suck! – I thought it sounded a little less blatantly vulgar to say it in German. Naughty, naughty Alu… XD  
**Good night  
*** Please stay – this is in the polite command form, as if to say, "Please stay, sir." I thought it fitting for her to address him this way now…

Once again, there have been several chapters with just Alu and Ro. Integra makes a reappearance next time around, for some really interesting developments. Who is Saumya?? Stay tuned and find out… in the next episode of DRAGON!! BALL!!!! Z!!!!1

LOL… jk! Just keep reading and sending me your thoughts! I appreciate any feedback as always.


	11. Zerstoerer

Chapter 11: Destroyer

"Get out! Get out and let me finish my work before I have you locked away again, you bloody monster!" Alucard phased through the door just as the letter opener embedded itself solidly in the oak. His gleeful cackle resounded through the room as his master thumped her head down on the pile of papers and fisted her hands in blonde hair.

The shadows in all corners split open with sharp-fanged grins and blinking red will-o-the-wisps. Laughter echoed, mocking the slumped figure of Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. The once-steely woman did not look up, did not roar or tense, but merely clapped her hands over her ears, curling in on herself. "I told you to get out! Out of my office, out of my head! OUT!" Her voice did not hold the usual commanding snarl, but a desperate, frazzled note.

Suddenly, there was a gloved hand ghosting over the back of Integra's neck. She jumped, whipping around and smacking him away. The vampire didn't flinch, but chuckled as she stood and brandished her pistol at him. He crossed his arms over his chest and stepped towards her in a sort of challenge, pointedly ignoring the barrel that poked him just below the heart.

The vampire's unruly behavior as of late was driving her off the deep end: creating a fledgling without permission, tormenting the brigade of mercenaries Walter had hired after the assault by the Valentine brothers, the disobedience with Rowena and the stairs, constantly pestering her for … many reasons (in her dreams, in the shower, in her bedchamber)… She'd gone through six or seven maids in the past month due to her servant's antics.

Finding her center again, she replied, "How long did father put up with this garbage before he locked you away, Servant?"

"Oh," the monster grinned, "I wasn't imprisoned because of mere teasing, my Master." And he was, very suddenly, simply not there at the other end of her pistol. Integra stiffened as lips grazed her ear, "He had me put away because I took a liking to your mother!"

"NO!" She shrieked, "You liar!"

"He'd never intended for her to see me, but when I wouldn't stay away…" The vampire continued, without heed to his master's outburst. His breath, reeking of all things rotten, gusted past her ear with his sinister chuckle. "The night he heard her call me 'Angel', that was the last straw. I would have had my freedom too, had it continued."

Integra felt her breath catch in her throat, forgetting to breathe through her haze of anger. When at last she could think, she spun around and pressed the tip of the pistol between his eyes. "How dare you speak of my mother so?!? She would have nothing to do with a monster like you, she was a woman of –"

"Of virtue? Who died giving birth to you?" His smile grew to a sharp, sadistic crescent moon. "Did she now?"

That face, dark and exotic, one she remembered from photographs, surfaced in her mind. Her hand combed through Saumya's long raven hair, and for a moment Integra thought she had come face to face with a specter. But then she saw the glove, and the bonding sigil flickered past her mother's face, partially obscured by the woman's black locks. Integra was seeing her mother through Alucard's eyes. "Angel," came Saumya's gentle voice, "You must leave before Arthur returns!"

"I'll return to you soon, love," she heard herself purr in a very deep, familiar tone. Her gloved hands pulled Saumya's face close, and very suddenly, she found herself disgusted, caught in a kiss that tasted of blood, felt like gargling razors.

There was the explosion of a gunshot. The darkening window of her vision swept unsteadily to the doorway, where Arthur Hellsing stood, fury burning in his eyes. "I'll destroy you, you bloody beast! You'll wish my ancestors had killed you…"

And then, Integra was falling. It was dark, and she could see nothing through the suffocating blackness. There was whimpering, sobbing. Her father's voice, soothing her mother, "I promise you, he will never harm you again, my dear." And the pair of them floated through the fog, Saumya cradled to Arthur's breast, her eyes pinched shut and streaming terrified (_crocodile_, Integra thought) tears. Arthur's eyes closed now too, as they sank to the floor next to the vampire's limp, bleeding body. As Integra stood there, wondering what to think of her mother, the woman's eyes opened and gazed directly at her, blazing like ghost lamps, their scarlet light blinding her.

She heard the scream of a baby, far-off and faint. She still could not see anything now, nor move. Her arms felt like they had fused to her sides. _I feel cold as the grave_, she thought to no one in particular. But the infant's cry had awakened her from her slumber, and she knew now that her slavery to these humans was not yet at an end. Perhaps it would never end… But, another generation of Hellsing had been born. She had another chance.

Out of the endless frozen dark, there came a beam of light. It fell on her face and for the first time in ages, she blinked. A figure floated towards her and reached a hand for her face. She could hear Saumya's heart beat, throbbing in her ears, deafening her. And though it was loud, it fluttered and stalled, already weakened by the infection of the kiss, of many, many of her kisses. Its steady pace had become the wingbeats of a dying bird.

_Pitiful creature of darkness_, Saumya's sunken eyes had said. But then, she licked her lips and rasped, "My poor, starved angel, let us save each other." And she fell trustingly against the vampire, offering her throat, hoping for respite from the thirsty hell her life had become. Her blood was _so very_ sweet.

Integra opened her eyes, a scream threatening to burst past her lips. There she stood, still holding the gun to her servant's head. She glanced around, disoriented for a moment or two before the trembling fury overtook her. "You killed her! YOU KILLED MY MOTHER, YOU BASTARD!" Alucard merely smirked, seeming to find her words hilarious. He laughed as she emptied the clip into his face, laughed maniacally, even without a mouth, the whole way to the floor.

"You're wrong, my Master. It was your father's bullet that killed her. It killed him too, you know. It just takes a bit longer to bleed out from despair." He intoned these words triumphantly as his body healed itself, rising up from the floor like a slow fall in reverse. "Your family seems to have a history of destroying itself," he laughed yet again, referencing what Integra knew to be their first meeting. "I wonder, how much longer will that continue?" The vampire disappeared, leaving Sir Hellsing to fall to the floor, limp as a marionette with its strings cut.

_Liar! He's destroyed them all_, she cried in her mind, shaking her head painfully. The knight sat there in a heap, staring blankly at the floor. Tears streamed silently down her face for a moment. _Mother, Father… My uncle…_

_He's going to destroy me too… _a hand numbly swung up and ripped her glasses from her face. It closed over the owl-eyed frames, trembling. Tightly, tighter, tighter still until there were small crackling noises emanating from beneath her glove. She took no notice. _If I don't get the hell away from him, he'll ruin me. I'm already halfway there_, she reeled, her tears interrupted by a hiccup and a reasonless laugh.

And she thought bitterly of all of her family, driven to insanity by the devilish creature. _Driven straight to their graves by his torment. Seduced, maddened, tempted by greed, addled and dogged by misfortune._

_Rowena's next. Oh God!_ The thought practically punched her in the face. _That poor thing, already plagued with problems._ From the beginning, Integra could see she was much like her father – not a horrid little rat, not a traitor like him, but weak all the same.

The damage done by the loss of her parents was irreversible – she had grown up, for the last two-thirds of her life, without a father, had dealt with a suicide she believed was her fault. And despite her issues, had seemed to be getting stronger. Her tenacity when faced with the struggles of therapy had seemed her greatest strength. But now, the girl wouldn't – perhaps couldn't – eat. She lay now, in her bed, wasting away from some unknown ailment. Had she simply given up? Lost hope of recovery?

For five days her food had been disappearing. But why was she continually weaker? Walter had told her that all of the food was gone, the silverware dirtied, the plates emptied of all but crumbs. And yet she got weaker. There was not much left of Rowena for Alucard to decimate, which she guessed he was threatening.

A realization leaped to the forefront of her consciousness; a monster exploding out of a child's closet. _What if he is already at work on her ruination?_ She gasped at the thought, shaking her head furiously to clear the nonsense.

No, it wasn't possible. Was it? _Why did Alucard choose now to reveal the past to me?,_ she wondered. _Could_ _he be secretly gloating over a new conquest?_ It seemed ludicrous for him to reveal something like that. After all, for him to reveal that… would mean punishment for him, exile at least… and then, he would lose Rowena.

_But would he want Rowena?  
_

She could imagine it now: Alucard would watch Integra cock the gun and raise it, point-blank, to one of those beautiful green eyes…

And she would hear him howl with laughter as she, crying, blew away her last living relative… She felt her stomach churn as she collapsed to the carpet again, now unable to control herself. It would be ten years ago all over again, except this time she would murder his daughter. The monster would shriek with joy to see his captors destroy each other, as he had done before.

"NO, NO I WON'T LET MYSELF THINK SUCH THINGS!!" she moaned miserably. And she tried to stand up and continue with her evening, but nothing would clear the horror from her mind. She was so damn worried about the girl. The future of the Organization, and in truth, all of England, was resting on their shoulders, these two women. Should Rowena fail to become Sir Hellsing, Integra would be forced to have a child, and then continue the job until her child could take over… or Alucard would be free. The thought was beyond terrifying. _I can't take anymore of this_; _Rowena mustn't fail!_

Nightfall rode over Hellsing manor, spurred on by the siren song of Integra's sobs. The bass of the monster's laughter joined his master's melody from the depths of the dungeons.

A/N: Hey everybody. Thanks for reading thus far. I've really enjoyed writing this, and I'm always glad to hear what you think, whether good or bad. I really love writing Evil!Bastard!Card™ as I have dubbed him, but I think with this chapter, the Evil!Bastard-ometer™ has been broken. He's done it before??? *GASP* Yeah, Integra is a strong woman, and she's dealt with a lot of tough sh*t in her life – that's why they call her the Woman of Steel/Ice Queen (in the fandom, anyway). I believe her to be a very tough customer, and not really the type to break down, but everybody has their limits. She is human, after all. I think that if you found out, what you believed growing up was a lie, that your family's greatest strength is actually eating it from the inside out… you'd feel pretty broken too.

Oh, and her mother is British/Indian (I'm assuming her name maiden name was Saumya Wingates). This would account for Integra's rather tan appearance, yet blonde hair (1/4 indian).

Alucard is pushing all of her buttons simultaneously, though, so don't mistake her outburst for weakness. She is, as I put it in the story, at her wit's end. Hassled, frazzled, and frightened with this new enemy lurking on the horizon. Remember, Alucard needs blood from her every so often to stay loyal (from the beginning…). 'Tegra was complaining then about how taxing it was to donate blood and then still have to command him and keep him reined in when he needs more and more each time.

XD for more Phantom of the Opera references. There are two, can you find them? They're pretty obvious.

There's much more to come. Please add to your watch/alert lists, because I may have to raise the rating on this story. I think I pushed the T-rating more than a bit with last chapter. I don't plan on making it really and truly "adult" in nature, but the whole "finger-sucking" bit was a bit much for the rating, I realize, upon looking back. Thanks again for reading! Till next time, much love - Megan


	12. Wiederbesucht

Revisited

Rowena whirled in a frantic circle. She stood at an intersection of eight pathways – their dingy medical green and white walls stretching high up into shadow above her. Somehow, at ground level there was just enough light to see; the sterile light of a pediatric ward dimly flickered and buzzed all around her. If she was in a hospital, it was definitely abandoned: the beat-up, filth-streaked walls told her.

Hopelessly, she gazed in each direction. They were identical, all eight trailing off into dark blankness. _How the hell did I get here?_ She mused, irritated and terrified at the same time. "Where am I?" She questioned aloud. Her voice echoed off in the eight directions at irregular intervals, causing her hair to stand on end. The cool, damp air didn't help either, and Rowena suppressed a shudder, bringing her arms up and wrapping them around herself.

_Where are my crutches?_ She looked down at her hands for a moment, but her eyes suddenly focused down beyond her palms.

And she shrieked.

Her legs were devoid of skin and some muscle – a gory, shredded mess; her skinless, bleeding feet stuffed into ratty pointe shoes.

Her scream bounced back from all directions – twisted into something more sinister; a high-pitched cry overlaid with a beastly growl. And then came a cascade of deep laughter at her back and she started, blindly running forward. She dared not stop or look back, but continued awkwardly running on the long shoes. It burned like hell to run with these horrible farces of legs, but she didn't care. There was something back there, and it was pursuing. The scrabbling sound of claws screeched on the tiles behind her. As she ran, the lights shut off behind her, a peel-off breakers snapping off.

A door appeared on her left, and she desperately yanked it open, unthinkingly slipping inside and slamming it shut behind her. Her eyes closed and she sank to the floor in horrified agony, panting as the scratching claws made it to the door and began to assault it. But the heavy feel of cool metal at her back assured her, as did the sound of its thumps, frustrated growls, and mewling, that it was not getting in.

When her eyes opened, she found herself blinded – harsh white lights were arching down from the ceiling, like UFOs that were much, much too close. She put an arm up to shield herself, and then noticed the blurred shapes in turquoise moving about a silver table. There were too many of them to see very certainly what they were working on, and the speed they were moving at was unreal.

Snippets of conversation, nonsensical and scrambled, reached her ears. A fragment of a word here or there, a blip. Something distorted… it took her a moment to gather her thoughts, but eventually it dawned on her that they were somehow … speaking backwards, their words hacked up and spit back out in any order. "Blood-od-od… sdeen… om OM re…" One spoke, its voice crashing and breaking like the sound of glass, "dlihc – ild eid-d-d-d-d will.. " She sat there, horrified at the completely nonsensical series of words and movements that was taking place before her eyes, her panicked hands clenching and unclenching against her cheeks. Her fingernails began to draw blood, but she hadn't taken notice.

And then, the smell hit her. First, there was blood - the overpowering smell of trauma. Then, she was hit by that sterile, chemical scent. Cloying and sickening… She held her breath but the scent somehow pervaded despite it. Oh, God… it was the odor, the taste – she couldn't decide which – of anesthesia. It was the essence of the dead, like nothing, like metal, like poison, like pain, all simultaneously. That was all she could think when it touched her. She closed her eyes and thoughtlessly hugged her legs to her, resulting in a cry of agony as hands touched torn, skinless muscle. They came away bloody.

But once again, she looked past her dirtied hands and saw with horror that the creatures which had been buzzing about the table in a blur of scrubs, metal, and flashes of blood, had now turned their faces in her direction. If you could call them faces. Black, fuzzy-edged shades with two shining red pits (which left slow trails of light as they moved) pulled cloth masks away from their mouths and spoke to her now, moving so slow that the world had almost seemed to pause. "Su tcarTRACTtsid tn-od-od-od esaelp. Gniyd sehs. Lrig siht evas ot gniyrt erew-w-w-w … gnorw gnihtSOMEemos si…" Rowena clawed backwards, scraping her nails desperately over the door as they stared at her. Between the closest two creatures, she could see a pair of bloody feet hanging off the end of the table. She pinched her eyes shut, knowing that she had to be dreaming.

She was reliving her surgery.

_When I open my eyes, I'm going to wake up in my bed_, she silently willed.

And then she opened them. All of the shapes stood over her now, grinning like demons, flashing in movements almost too fast for her to see. Their chatter had accelerated to the point of mouse-like squeaks, as if someone was holding fast forward on a tape. Her breath hitched in her throat – they seemed to be in the process of deconstructing her legs, at least that's how it felt. _ I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!_ She sat up and found herself restrained by hands that crawled – like bugs over her skin, but she shoved them away, leaping from the table and tearing needles from her skin.

Careless that she was naked, she ran for a door across the room, still shedding tubing, heart monitor decals, medical tape. Before she got ten steps, however, she found her legs unraveling – muscles breaking and twanging like snapping guitar strings. It didn't seem to stop her, but she stared in a sort of disconnected awe nonetheless. The doctor-things didn't follow her, but merely continued their gory pantomime sans-subject.

The door on the far wall gave way to her shove, and as skeletal legs stepped through, she found herself falling. There was a crash and she felt the stabs of a thousand knives across her body. Glass glittered around her like snowflakes, drifting upwards. She fell past horizontal trees, past cars that sped upwards, past signposts and buildings. The ground was coming up at her. She cringed.

And felt nothing. There was a split second when she fell back through the operating room, through several hospital beds, through a room where they wrapped her legs in fiberglass. She fell through a wheelchair and into a bathtub, landing with a gentle thump. There, standing before the mirror, was a horror that she never wanted to see. Never again.

Her mother.

The woman was crying, her cheeks and eyes sunken and dark. Her trembling hand held a revolver. Rowena felt herself scream, but did not hear it as a thundering sound began to echo in her ears. Elke Siegel Hellsing opened her mouth. The girl scrabbled to get upright in the tub.

The older woman placed the barrel softly between her lips, tears still streaming freely down her face. Rowena stumbled over to her, soundlessly crying over the crash that played again and again. Her arms closed around the woman from the side as she pulled the trigger.

And Rowena found herself covered with the insides of her mother's head, losing her grip on the woman as Elke fell forward and smashed her face in on the front of the sink. Rowena stood there in the puddle of her mother's blood, slowly turning in a maddened circle. Three white, blood-spattered walls, and a mirror. She caught a glimpse of her own reflection as it jerked and clawed beyond the glass. There before her laid the body, facedown. There was blood on her hands, blood on her face, blood and brains in her mouth.

She ran, spitting and retching. Somehow she found the door and smashed it open in her haste. She was back inside the hospital halls. The girl snapped her head one way – an empty passage, stretching on endlessly – and then the other. Off in the distance, she saw something jerk to attention. A pair of bright crimson points twinkled far away, and there was a flash of something sharp and white. Immediately, the lights started snapping off and the darkness drew nearer. She fled in the opposite direction, only to crash into a small shape, hidden by long black hair, and fall to the floor.

With a jolt, she sat up in bed. It was dark, and she sighed, feeling a shiver wash over her. Just a dream. The same damn one, she thought. She ran a hand through her hair and her eyes lifted from her lap, to catch a glint of ruby in the corner.

"I thought I told you, no more nightmares," the vampire murmured, stepping nearer. "Must I always step in to stop them? Do you dream of nothing else?"

Rowena felt tears stinging her eyes now. "I really can't help it." She sat there in silence for a moment, reviewing what had just happened. That dream had happened quite frequently before she moved here, but Alucard's recent presence had managed to break the habit. This time, however, it had taken her to a different place. Never before had there been anyone in the halls of her mind but her, and the monster. She hadn't had a chance to see the newcomer before she woke up.

"Are you in there, child?" the vampire's urging snapped her back to the present. He was now seated on the foot of her bed.

"I'm sorry," was her sheepish reply.

"I leave for two nights – TWO NIGHTS – and you return to your old, self-destructive thoughts." He chided, his annoyance clearly shining through the darkness.

"I saw her die, Alu-" her tongue knotted, and she stumbled over her words, "-mas-master." Embarrassed eyes rolled back down to the bedspread. "I was there." She suddenly found herself choked up, "How easy do you think that is to forget?"

"You speak the truth," he conceded, "That is… something I did not know before." He moved closer, beginning to reach out for her. "Are you alright?" Rowena jerked as a strange scent rolled off of him – blood, gunpowder, smoke.

"Where were you?" She said thickly, her voice still righting itself. She knew that something was afoot – she had been left alone today with a few of the Wild Geese. Everyone else had been in London, and Integra had returned late in the evening in a fouler mood than Rowena had ever seen her. Neither Alucard nor his friendly fledgling had been around the previous day either. That day, Rowena had heard Integra watching a noisy newscast, had caught an outburst of rage from across the mansion. But after ringing for Walter, she had been told to disregard it.

The doctor had come and gone earlier in the day, in relative quiet, heading back to his office for tests.

"I was… stamping out a _problem_… for my master," he drawled, "Did the doctor's visit … go well?"

"He's coming back tomorrow with results. I don't know… he seemed perplexed," she replied, pulling herself to her knees and leaning towards the vampire, screwing up her face and sniffing at him. The vampire moved closer still, welcoming her leaning form with open arms.

"I missed you," he chuckled, pulling her to him. He leaned over to catch her for a kiss, but her nose went straight to his neck. "Ah, hungry, aren't we?" Rowena paid no mind, but sniffed again.

"What the hell did you _eat_?" She persisted, her nose traveling the length of his neck and up along his jaw. Finally she stopped before his face, bathed in his breath. There was something completely different about his scent. It was warmer, saltier, enticing… on the surface not bad, but beneath that there was something that stank.

"Do I offend?" His face cracked a smirk and he proceeded to imitate a human checking his breath. Understanding crossed his features after a moment. "Ah, yes, I must smell different to you… as long as I've known you, I've not had _fresh_ human blood." _Other than yours, the smell of which you wouldn't have noticed_ _then_.

"You… killed humans?" She gasped after it dawned on her.

"Yes, and a false vampire. That would be why you look so repulsed. The filthy card-shark's blood reeked, forgive me." But Rowena still seemed to be stuck on the concept of humans.

"Live people?" Something shifted in her eyes as she looked at him. A twinkle of fear blossomed. _Ah_, he grinned inwardly, _that's right, all she ever sees is her beloved "pet" vampire!_

"They were trying to kill me, Rowena," he decided to encourage the illusion. At his words, she seemed to relax slightly. He caught his hand in her hair, feeling that a change of topic was in order. "Are you still hungry?"

The fear had drained away, and his touch brought visible clouds over her features. _So easily distracted_. "Not… not really," she sighed, little arms slipping over his shoulders. Her head nestled under his chin, "I missed you too. You're not allowed to leave for two nights in a row again!"

"Oh, so now you're making the rules?" He playfully replied. "I'm afraid I can't promise that. It is my _job_, after all. You were lucky, pet, to have me around so often as I was since you've been here – things have been slow… but I think business is about to pick up."

"Can you stay with me tonight, Master?" she softly asked, her note of dejection all too apparent.

"Of course, but I can't promise you tomorrow night, nor the next," his whisper trailed off as he claimed her mouth in an urgent kiss. She was drawn against him and they sank down into the pillows, lips never parting. Rowena reached out and ran her tongue over his fangs, something she had not yet dared to do. His absence over the past days, however, had made her bold.

Rowena's sudden burst of confidence caused a growl to rise in the vampire's chest, and he met her bid and doubled it. Fangs now met Rowena's soft mouth, and she winced at the first brush of razors at her lips, at her tongue, but soon found herself drawn deeper. Her blood sweetened his breath and she forgot all about his last meal.

And then he broke away, his eyes burning with something conflicted, something Rowena could not name. She licked her lips, turning her eyes up to his. "Is something wrong?"

The vampire laughed gently, "You are much too tempting, little Hellsing." He nestled tightly against her and pulled the covers over them both. "You should get back to sleep, tomorrow shall be a long day."

AN: I'm sure you all know what Alucard (and the rest of the Hellsing crew save for Rowena) just returned from. And who he just snacked on (yesterday in the story). Yes, I'm stretching out the timeline of Hellsing's canon events. I'm not sure how I'll fit the rest of them in, but we'll see.

**pointe shoes are ballet shoes for those who have no clue - Rowena took ballet before her accident.

Sorry it took me longer than expected to update - I worked at this chapter for a long time, and originally there was much much much more dream sequence. I've saved it for next time around, though. I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know how I'm doing!

What will the next day bring? More dreams? (Oh yes!) 'Til next time, then! Much love.


	13. Raubtieritter

(Predator)Protector

A small hand helped Rowena up, and a little boy's voice urged, "Hurry." She turned her head up and saw a young boy (if his voice hadn't told her so, she wouldn't have known), the icy, unearthly beauty of his face framed by long black locks. Ruby eyes shone out from under his blunt cut fringe. "Come with me, I can help you." And he pulled her along, but she stumbled, her feet bare, tractionless bones, and fell again. This time the tiny thing picked her up and cradled her before himself, his size belying his strength. "I know a place to hide, secret and safe. I can help you there." And they shot off down the passage, to a sudden branching, and he darted down several halls in quick succession. At last he opened a door and slammed it shut tightly, placing her down on a pile of oriental cushions.

"Thank you!" Rowena breathlessly answered as the boy flopped down next to her, leaning over to look at her almost comically bare legs.

"Wow… you certainly did a number on these. Thankfully, its fixable." The boy smiled at her, something hungry flashing behind his eyes. "I know we've just met, but do you trust me?" Rowena looked into glistening red globes, now met with an innocent expression. She nodded, and the boy leaned over, pressing gentle lips to each of her kneecaps. Warmth rippled over her form, and she watched in amazement as muscles exploded outwards from the bone; skin slithered downwards. Once again, the child pulled Rowena to her feet. As she stood, she did a double take, noticing that he had aged a few years in a few seconds. He was almost as tall as her now. "Come on, we have to keep moving, there's not much time."

"Why?" She puzzled, "You said we'd be safe here!"

"If you linger any one place too long, it will find you," he urged, tugging at her arm, "It will continue to follow, so we must continue to run."

And they were off again - this time Rowena stumbling along behind him. It wasn't long before the boy was sighing in irritation. "Can't you go any faster? It's going to catch us." She shook her head, and he growled in annoyance. Something snapped within Rowena, and she found herself crying at his temper, stumbling and falling against the wall in a heap of distraught tears and pain. The growls of the dark thing, whatever it was, were closer now.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to keep up with you, but my damned legs…" His eyes widened at her response, but he wasted no time. He flung open the nearest door and swept the both of them inside, shutting it against the shadow which she could just see through the crack as it shut.

"I-I thought you were healed, I'm sorry!" He stammered, breathing out a sigh of relief now that they two leaned safely against the inside of the door. Rowena felt tears well anew as she looked down at her legs. They were unraveling again.

"I'll **never** be healed!" She moaned miserably, curling in on herself. There were hands over her wrists, peeling her hands from her face; arms around her, her head cradled to a warm chest.

"Don't say that! You're strong enough, I know it. It's my fault you were lost and hurt in the first place – I was supposed to guide you. And I've done a good job until today. But I won't let you fall or get lost again, I promise. I'll help you." Cool lips brushed her forehead and strong arms hugged her close. It seemed, once again, that there was a lot more of this child – those lanky arms seemed long enough to wrap around her twice. Her eyes found her way to his face, and there was an older teen staring back at her, smiling.

And handsome! Frighteningly so.

"Who are you?" She finally queried, in the midst of this strange young man's embrace. "And what is that thing?" She sat back and stared him earnestly in the face. "I know this is all a bunch of nonsense – it has to be. I've had this dream before and you've NEVER BEEN HERE. I don't know how you think you're my guide!" Her voice began in a small, confused whisper, and rose in pitch and trembling fever with every word, until she rang out in the trill of a mad woman. The scarlet-eyed young man caught her face with delicate gloved hands, cutting over her with soothing noises.

"Shhh, now don't you worry. I am here to help you, and there is no reason to panic. You stay here and rest – I'm going to go and head that thing off," he added as he slipped out of her arms. His voice was deeper. Familiar. "I'll be back soon." With a flip of his hand, he created a glimmering illusion of Rowena, which he cradled to his chest.

In a blink, he was gone, and she found herself faced with a flight of stairs, reaching into the heavens. "Rest schmest!" she thought, "I have to find a way out of this place! Maybe then I'll wake the hell up." Climbing was slow and painful, but she worked at it anyway. At first, she crawled, hand over hand, her legs dragging dead weight behind her. Eventually, she found she could use them a bit. It was then that she came upon the end of the stairs – a plateau. The stairs continued up after what seemed like miles and miles of machinery; exercise bikes, resistance bands, light weight machines, treadmills. With a determined smirk set upon her face, she crawled on.

Reaching the very top of the stairs had taken ages, but she was finally here. Despite being tired, she found herself able to stand. Her steps were unsteady, but her legs stayed beneath her, and for that, she was grateful. The space up here was a parlor – a darkened room with reading chairs and shelves of books. In a leather seat by the door, sat the boy – young man – she corrected herself. His eyes rose from the book he was reading and he began to clap. "You've come a long way, little one." A hand stretched out to her and she strode for him, feeling her grin stretch from ear to ear.

They caught hands, and then… they danced. The red-eyed teen laughed, swinging her about gracefully through smooth twirls and dips. Nothing had felt so wonderful in a long time. Until she was on the floor.

With a gasp, the young man crouched down next to her, "But not so far as I thought. I'm sorry, I overdid it." A hand cupped her face, brushing away tears that tumbled down.

"Can you fix it, like last time?" Rowena heard herself ask.

"It will have to be a secret," he leaned close, whispering.

„Why?"

„I should be your knight, your protector, and no one can know I've failed," he confided. "Besides, your honor, my little one, may be threatened if they find out you are so close to me! A knight must never dishonor his lady love." She stared up at him in awe. _Her knight. Her protector._

She nodded her assent.

From his pocket, he produced a small bottle. It contained a red liquid; its side labeled, "Trink mich*." She took it from his outstretched hand, and immediately upended the contents into her mouth.

Immediately she felt strength surging through her as the sweet liquid kissed her tongue. Her legs immediately obeyed her command to stand. The teen (now really more of a man) stood before her, his form covered by the metal scales of armor and a ragged cloak. He offered a hand, smiling with closed lips. "Come. I could only delay the beast, not stop it. We must continue, before it catches up with us! Can you run now?"

Rowena stopped, gazing him dead-on in the face. "Master?" she gasped – he was finally recognizable, though the clothing was new. _A knight_, she thought again. This finally explained the feeling of déjà vu which had dogged her since she had laid eyes on the interloper's face. "Why do you keep changing, and what are you doing here?"

He calmly took her arm and began to walk with her again. "The longer you are with me, the more you come to know me for who I really am," he replied cryptically, his face a Cheshire mask. "And really – don't you realize I'm trying to keep you away from the nightmare?"

"Then what's all this been? All this running about with you, can't you just… send it away? The nightmare, I mean."

"Good memories, little one. We're traversing your good memories. Places where the nightmare has trouble penetrating," He continued, reaching for a door, "We _are_ in your head, after all. I can't get rid of your past, which seems to hound you so, but I can help you think of other things." The portal swung out before them and they were strolling down a hall in the mansion. Darkness poured in through the windows, but the hall was illuminated by the warm glow of lamplight. Ahead of them was the dining hall – Rowena recognized the double doors.

"Where are we going?" She piped, "Surely not to that day at breakfast? That wasn't a good memory!" The vampire grinned, and for the first time she truly saw her knight's teeth. Razors, like the snapping flash of white that had been chasing her since the beginning. The room jumped slightly for a second, like a cd skipping, and she felt something unpleasant blossoming in her chest.

"Don't worry where we are, you'll be safe from the bad dreams with me," His smile softened now, and he gazed at her very protectively, "But you have to promise you won't let go of my hand. Its crowded in there, and you could get lost in the crush."

They stepped through the door then, and Rowena was riveted with wonder. The dining hall was brimming with decorations, bursting with gold and cream. A costumed crowd was whirling together in dance, their masks flashing splatters of color winking in and out while they turned. _Paper faces on parade_… the thought fluttered through her mind. A string quartet played a waltz. Rowena found herself unable to hold her eyes still – everywhere was color, sound, motion. Happy countenances leered at her, spiraling in and out of the crowd. She gasped and caught her breath, clinging tighter to her knight's arm. It was so overwhelmingly majestic, it was almost terrifying.

"Lovely," he breathed, "you really do have an eye for beauty." And she gazed up at him. Garbed in a crimson velvet jacket, tall black boots, and slim breeches, his face half-masked by a skull, he was her Phantom embodied.

"Masquerade," they mouthed simultaneously.

The vampire slipped a hand about her waist and swung her along effortlessly. They slid into the mass of people and Rowena felt she had left her humanity behind. "If only we could dance like this for real," she sighed, smiling up at him. Sweet, cloying notes and delicious perfume hung in the air. The horror behind her was nearly forgotten.

"It shouldn't be too much longer," he replied. When she was about to ask what, she caught a glimpse of a table, and familiar faces seated at it.

"Look!" She caught the vampire's attention, "Look, its Integra, and Walter, and Seras!" She pried her hand from the vampire's to wave at them. The smiling figures beckoned. As she moved to break free of Alucard, he grasped her more tightly.

"Remember what I said? Don't let go of me!" An arm swept out in an arc before them, noting the tumult of the surrounding party, "Look. Really look around yourself." Rowena's eyes hovered uncertainly on the vampire's countenance, then darted out across the room. Faces peered out eerily often from the crowd, nightshade eyes settling squarely on her. What she had initially taken for masks…. Terrible twisting things of ornate fashion and sable, sharp form… well… not all of them were masks now.

The playful music was lilting now. A bit slower, a bit uneven; like a wavy record. Something buzzed and jerked deep within the bass. The lights flickered. Rowena suppressed a shiver, pulling back to her vampire's arms. They closed protectively around her, seeming to shield her from the world. "Do you see?" Came the whispered words in her ear. Her face found the solid surface of his chest and buried itself there.

"Will it stay away while you are here?" She wondered aloud.

"Of course," he rumbled, "I'll help you to think of other things, and if your mind does not dwell on your fear, then the nightmare cannot overtake you. I would not allow another to possess what is rightfully mine."

" But you couldn't stop the nightmare before, remember? You said we had to run!"

"I'm so much stronger now, pet, don't you realize?" His grin had broadened, sharpened again. "You've seen to that!"

Something twisted in her gut at these strange words, yet she lingered on the edge of realization. She shook it off and laughed, realizing that he must have been complimenting her in some way.

His hand gripped her tighter and they swung into a faster waltz this time, almost flying. She gazed up into his eyes and laughed at the thought of them defying the horrors she had seen only moments ago. Now, however, the vivid color and joy had returned to the room. The music swept up triumphantly and Rowena gazed up to see the crowd part around them then circle in. She and the vampire had taken the middle of the floor, now a spectacle.

"Why are they watching us?" she whispered, feeling bewilderment creep up from her stomach.

"Where is your head, child? Don't you realize that this is all for you?" He paused for a moment, then changed his mind, "Forgive me, you're sixteen now, so 'child' no longer applies. Has my presence caused you to completely forget your official introduction to the Round Table and the queen?"

_The queen_, she thought for a moment, and snapped her attention over to the high table. Beyond the sinister faces that ringed them, Rowena could see the prim and pressed woman to Integra's left, at the center of the table. She was deep in conversation with Sir Hellsing, but shot occasional harsh glances in her direction. The song was winding to a close, and all too soon, it ended with a flourish. The vampire whipped her into a swift spin, pulled her back to himself, and they bowed.

Gentler background music started up again, and the crowd seemed to part wordlessly as Sir Hellsing's voice rang out to her cousin. "Time to meet everyone," her Master grimaced, putting a protecting arm about her shoulder and pointing her towards the waiting crowd of London's best. Her feet found themselves suddenly unwilling as her eyes met the gazes coming from the high table.

_Disgust. Disdain_. That glaze of tenuous humanity, covering something raw and feral, which she had seen on the faces of the dancing crowd. She approached them with what she was sure was a half-hearted smile. Her eyes dropped at once, from their stern countenances to the food-laden table before them as she drew nearer. It was overflowing with filth; dismembered rotting bodies, crawling with insects, exuding the foulest stench she could have imagined, were stacked high on trays in a cruel mockery of roast hog. She felt herself stop for a moment, but the arm holding hers urged her onward. The wave of reassurance the vampire sent her caused her to continue.

"Good evening, Sirs. Your Highness." She gave a timid curtsey.

Though she didn't at all look it, the queen replied, "Quite pleased to meet you, Miss Hellsing." And she stood, extending a hand across the table to shake Rowena's. The girl hesitated a mere moment, before breaking her grasp on the vampire standing by her side.

At once the room chilled. There came a sudden growl at her back, and Rowena's heart jumped into her throat, fear gagging her. Her hand locked with the queen's and the world did not end, at least not yet. She gave the woman a hearty handshake, and looked up to find the royal aspect totally changed.

Very suddenly, the woman was now human, smiling warmly and genuinely. Truly pleased to meet her. The faces of the other Round Table members, and Integra too… all were equally transformed. The stench of the human buffet that had lain before them was gone too. Yet Rowena's dread had not dispersed.

There was a moment of silence in which she locked eyes with queen. The woman still held her hand, smiling blithely, yet blankly over her shoulder. Rowena could almost see the woman's brain processing, watching her expression slide from polite enthusiasm to chilling surprise.

Rowena still didn't quite understand why time had seemed to stop. Even the music had halted on a single, flat note. The queen's eyes turned slowly back to Rowena's face, and the wrinkled old lips mouthed one word.

"**Run**."

It was simply reflex that made her turn around, but nothing could have prepared her for the sight that met her eyes.

Her knight was transformed: a huge, writhing mass of shadow, a thousand red eyes of the monstrosities of darkness blinking at her. Fanged mouths unleashed a cacophony of horror – growls and crows and screeches, a chorus of suffering, both human and animal wailing, now replaced the sweet music that had danced through the night. Black tendrils shot out at her retreating form. The nightmare had finally found her.

Or rather, she had found it…

It had been with her all along.

A/N:

There's a lot going on here. I hope it isn't all too dense and suggestive for you all to figure it out. I gave it my best go and hope it was clear enough. This is a pretty crucial chapter, and if there are any problems with understanding, you can PM me. Hooray for more Phantom of the Opera touches. Sorry for another cliffy, but I just felt that that last line was so epic, I HAD to end there. As always, sorry for taking so damn long to update – you all should have the idea now that I write really slow. This chapter's been in the works for two months now. If I can get my college work done in a timely fashion I'll begin work on the next one soon. I'm still unsure how to handle the next chapter – I have some serious work cut out for me right now. I'd love to hear feedback, once again. Its good to know what to keep doing, and what to do better.

PS: Title: Raubtier = predator (robbing beast), Ritter = Knight. I liked how they kind of meshed together to insinuate Rowena's discovery about Alucard.

Much love, Megan.


	14. Herr::Sklave

Masterslave

Rowena stood outside the door of her cousin's office, paused in a moment of uncertainty. The woman had called for her today, and Rowena wasn't quite sure why. Nothing had been said about the doctor's return visit with Integra yesterday, and her usual lesson with Integra had been put off in favor of the leader's other work. The young Hellsing was not sure what to expect from this abrupt summons, and though Alucard had assured her there was no knowledge of her condition, she could not help but panic.

It was no longer the panic of a rule-breaking child, but that of a newborn vampire confronted with an expert hunter, for that was very nearly her situation. Before, her fear had been discovery of dalliance with the monster, but now she knew…. truly knew her fate. She still had yet to actually stomach human food, though she was not outwardly vampiric. It was just over two weeks since her first contact with the vampire's blood. She could not possibly have much time left as an inconspicuous, blood-craving human. Already she had seen flashes of Midian in herself – fingers that stretched into claws in defense, teeth that grew with hunger… This morning she had very cautiously checked her teeth in the mirror, wondering when they would sharpen for good. Wondering just how much longer she could keep hiding. Her current hunger did not help matters – as of today there had been no blood for her in three days.

_It was stupid of me to refuse his blood the last time we saw each other… _she grumbled, and yet, she couldn't help musing that it was better that way. Since waking alone from that nightmare, she had dreaded seeing the vampire again. Her master… who she was inevitably attracted to, drawn to when he was there… yet now that he was away she was filled with terror at the very idea of him.

That dream had given her a glimpse of something she didn't want to think about. Perhaps spurred by his mention of eating humans, perhaps not… she didn't have the faintest idea if it really meant anything, or if it was just her mind spouting stress. Whether it was significant or not, it had whipped her into a frenzied fear. _You were called_, a rumbling voice shot through her mind, more than slight irritation apparent. Rowena jumped as if it were the report of a gun, snapping her head about frantically in search of the vampire. _Quit acting like a fool and get moving. When your Master's master calls you, you had better respond. Or would you like to answer to me later?_

The girl's heart thundered behind her ribs. Alucard had never threatened her before! Her trembling hand reached out and knocked at the portal. There came a feminine chuckle and a low growl from within, followed by the response to enter. Nothing could have prepared Rowena for the sight that met her eyes beyond the door.

Integra stood in front of her desk, her shirtsleeves rolled up to the elbow, with a thick tome, a small wooden box, and a sharp ceremonial blade close at hand. Kneeling at her feet was Alucard, who shot the girl a sideways glare. _Not a word from you, girl. Not. A. Word._

Trying to keep her expression straight, registering no communication with the beast, she moved towards the pair. "Cousin, you called for me?" Integra beckoned her closer.

"Yes, Rowena. I feel it's urgent that Alucard is bound to you; there is a situation looming on the horizon which calls for caution, I'll explain once we've completed this. I've been very busy as of late, but I have some time to set aside my worries on this matter now." And once again, the blonde beckoned her closer.

She took her place by Integra's side timidly, trying to avoid looking at the vampire, who was emanating a pure, cold aura of fury. "Alucard is bound to our family with old magic, activated by blood. If he does not get his blood regularly, he becomes difficult to manage. To get him accustomed to the idea of having you as his master..." The discomfort washing over Rowena from the vampire became a nearly physical pain, "we will begin to wean him from my blood to yours." With that, Sir Hellsing raised her wrist, and brought the knife to it. Alucard twitched to attention beneath it, gazing up ravenously, almost pleadingly. "Beast, for Hellsing blood you have pledged and been bound to loyalty. I renew this bond today as your master." And she slit open her wrist but held it still, seeming to taunt him. "On pain of death, you must once again pledge me total loyalty and obedience."

The vampire's gaze darted up at Rowena for a moment and then to the floor. Only the younger Hellsing heard his mental growl of indignation. "As always, you have it, my Master." And he doubled over to touch his forehead to her boot. As soon as she was satisfied that the vampire had sufficiently debased himself, she brought her wrist back down and allowed him to lap up the blood.

"The remainder of your blood will be drawn and provided later, " she added at his insistent grip on her wrist, after the wound had healed. "Today you will also be bound to my cousin. I convey to her the same power I have over you. You will protect her as you have previously, and you will now obey her as you do myself." The vampire was again looking at the floor, his eyes almost alight with a murderous glare.

"Yes, Master," he hissed through closed teeth. The older woman passed Rowena the knife and pointed the vampire in the girl's direction.

"Address her. Rowena, you must repeat the incantation as I did." The girl took the knife in her shaking hand and held the blade at her wrist. As her mouth opened to speak the words, the vampire's voice crept into her mind again:

_You will pay__** dearly **__for my humiliation, child._

Her heart caught in her throat for a moment as he locked eyes with her from the floor.

"Don't let him enthrall you! Invoke the bond and take charge!" Integra snapped, and Rowena managed to get the words out. The vampire responded, surprisingly, just as fluidly as he had to Integra. The girl had to stifle a gasp as his lips locked over the wound on her wrist. Every touch from the vampire these days seemed to thrill her, except this time she felt as if flames were licking across her flesh. As he pulled away, Integra interjected: "Now you must teach him to obey." A box was pressed into Rowena's hand and she opened it to find a little revolver.

Her name and the family symbol were engraved on the barrel. It was already loaded. She held it for a moment, unsure of what to do, never having shot a gun before. Wordlessly, Integra corrected her grip on it and lifted it so she was aiming it at Alucard. "Now address your servant and tell him to prove his bond to you."

"Servant," she began, her voice and the gun in her hands wavering as Alucard's incredulous laughter rang in her mind, "Prove yourself to me."

_I shall play along, I suppose, _came the reply. Then he reached out and leaned forward, holding the end of her gun to his forehead. "Shoot me and discipline me if you so desire, my Master. I will not defend myself, nor will I plead." And he waited. After a moment, she lifted the barrel away and stepped back, only to have Integra reach out and stop her.

"You aren't finished. Order him to bite you."

"What!?" She cried.

"Do it." Integra urged, hard-eyed.

"Servant," she flinched again as a vicious snarl echoed off the inside of her skull, "Bite me." She tensed herself in fear, knowing, feeling that nothing would _really_ stop him from doing it.

He lunged for her, yet stopped dead within a few centimeters of her throat, his mouth open impossibly wide in mid-bite. He seemed to spasm in pain for a moment before he attempted another lunge, which also failed.

"Enough," called the older Hellsing, and the beast promptly stopped. "He is appropriately bound." She turned from them back to her desk and added, "You are dismissed, Alucard." He slunk away without so much as a bow, but Rowena had not forgotten his earlier threat.

When he was gone, Integra turned back to her, sighing. "This was earlier than I planned doing this. I know you aren't as knowledgeable as I would like, but there's a big threat on the way, and if I should die…" Her face was etched with worry and exhaustion, "we need someone to keep Alucard under control, however tenuous it is. You know, under duress Alucard himself will help you with the job, despite how unruly he is. He helped me a lot during my teens when I was unsure of myself."

Rowena suddenly felt a wave a horrible guilt wash over her. There was absolutely no way she could ever command Alucard. No bond existed between them, she knew it the second she offered her blood, the second his lips touched her skin. She already belonged to him, she realized with a bitter inward smile. A master could not be bound to the will of his property. Regardless, she was putting everyone in danger, and she knew it. But Integra would surely kill her if she knew… wouldn't she? She swallowed hard, forcing down the gnawing in her guts the best that she could. _Coward_, the voice rang out when she tried to swallow again. _Tell her._

Yet again, however, her fear subdued her reason.

"What's going on, Integra? You were in London a few days ago, and everything's been in an uproar since." She moved closer, taking a seat before the desk, careful to lean on the crutches which she found she needed less and less each passing day.

"There is a remnant of Nazis whom we fought during the second world war, who are creating vampires. Alucard was just in South America a few nights ago, engaged with one of their agents. We aren't certain of their next move, but we're getting ready to mobilize as it could happen at any time." The woman took her seat, fumbling with a cigar for a moment before looking up.

"I hoped to have you fully trained before throwing you into all of this, but Alucard could be sent out on a mission at any time, so I wanted to bind him to you while there's a chance." She promptly set herself to rolling her shirtsleeves down. "We finished discussing vampire lore, thank goodness, yet I haven't managed to give you any weapons training yet. That could be even more important to your survival in the case of an attack than the pure knowledge I've shared with you. So I feel we should start on that promptly. I've set aside the afternoon to go to the shooting range with you myself. Walter will bring you around 2 or so, once my paperwork is done."

***

Rowena slunk back to her room after a rather disappointing afternoon. She had been so preoccupied with worry (facing Alucard again, for she knew it was coming) that her shooting had been off even after she had gotten the hang of holding the gun, bracing herself properly, and aiming. That tremor just wouldn't quit. Weapons training aside, she was absolutely frantic. She had nothing to occupy her mind now, and not the faintest idea of how to begin to apologize to her master.

Her master. _Ugh_. The more she thought about it the more sickened and fearful she felt.

When she got to her room, she found her dinner laid out on her bedside tray. That reminded her – Integra still hadn't said anything about the doctor. Perhaps it was just the farthest thing from her mind right now. Or maybe Alucard's quick obedience to Rowena had assuaged her fears.

Either way, she had expected, as soon as she closed the door, to find a very pissed vampire ready to swoop down on her and unleash the pain. Yet there was nothing. Not a sound, nor a flicker of shadow to announce another presence. The dense, putrid stench of human food reminded her to flush the plate of dinner Walter had left her. Which left her to sit in her empty room, her throat burning with thirst, wondering when Alucard would descend on her. She sat for a bit, running scenarios through her mind of how to appease him should she have an opportunity to beg. _Pathetic_.

She still didn't feel too hopeful.

Yet so much time had passed in her reverie, and darkness had fallen long ago… perhaps he wasn't seeking her out, or he would have done so by now, he was definitely awake already. Maybe it would be better to go to him, then… and show that she was apologetic. And somehow, she had a feeling that she was expected.

The trip through the dungeons was darker and longer than she remembered, but once again, she stood before the vampire's door in indecision. She could almost feel him sitting on the other side of the wood, down the stairs, waiting. With a deep breath, she pushed open the door and stepped silently into the blackness, terror holding her tongue hostage. The door thudded shut at her back and all trace of light faded away. Before she could do a thing, careless hands seized her and slammed her form against the nearest wall. One clapped over her mouth as the monster drew near, pinning her up, feet seeming miles from the floor. The wind was knocked from her too, which was good, as she had nothing left to scream when the beast locked his jaw around her throat.

Rowena thought she was dying. Surely, it was going to end right there. It was as if a bear trap had closed around her throat. Brilliant supernovas of blinding pain burst behind her eyes and she tried to gasp for breath, which resulted in a wet slurping noise through her wounds when the vampire pulled away. For a terrible moment, she wheezed and bubbled and struggled for air around the blood, flailing feebly, fearing she would suffocate. She imagined he was staring down at her in a sick sort of satisfaction. But then there was a tongue at her throat, sealing everything over again.

When he was satisfied that she would live another few moments, Alucard turned his head up again and met her dark-blind expression. The girl stared blankly ahead, still gasping, unable to see his face mere centimeters from her own.

"The bite you ordered, my _new_ _master_," He raged sarcastic through clenched teeth.

As soon as her mouth could form words, she began to desperately plead: "Oh God! Please, I was coming to apologize! I'm so-"

He growled over her, "Your blood is not something that can be offered to invoke my loyalty. It is** mine** to take, whenever I want!" He punctuated his point by ducking back down to her throat and raking his teeth over the mostly-healed flesh, which elicited another yelp of terror from the girl.

"Yes, Master!" She rasped through the pain and rising panic.

"And you shall never command me again!" He growled, dragging a claw up the tender underside of her chin, just a bit too roughly. And suddenly very gently, his hand stroked her cheek, "Why is that, Rowena?"

"A servant does not command her master," she replied, feeling tears of shame begin to well in her eyes. Not only was it shame at admitting this, it was shame at her own realization: she had felt _disturbed_ by attempting to command him earlier.

Alucard was, internally, quite pleased with her answer, but did not feel he should let up quite yet.

"You're damn right she doesn't!" He snarled, abruptly letting go of her and relishing the little noise of surprise she made as she hit the floor. He appeared back in his chair, not that Rowena could see that. The only clue she had was the sudden distance of his voice. "And a servant is paid for her servitude. You are not, which makes you no more than a slave."

"I thought you said I was going to be your-"

"Shush! You are what I wish you to be, and tonight, it _pleases_ me to call you slave." His voice was once again that great inhuman growl, " I suffered the indignity of kowtowing to my slave and calling her master, so you must be reminded that I am by no means your pet, your weapon, or least of all, your slave, no matter how things appear before Integra." He uncorked a bottle of blood on the table nearby and poured it into a wineglass. He could see the girl perk up at the smell, and watched with a victorious little smirk as she squirmed where she sat. After a sip, he continued, mockingly, "Your hunger is obvious, and yet you come no closer… are you afraid?"

Rowena realized she felt naked, there, in the dark, sitting blind before this monster who could take her life on a whim. Those tears which had welled before now spilled over her cheeks and the image of the black thing from her nightmares swam through her mind. For all she knew, that was what she faced now in this total darkness. Her dream had been a portent, she knew it now. She had just seen a flash of the beast to come.

"Yes." She whispered her strained reply, knowing there was no use hiding it. He could probably smell it, see it through the veil of night, read it in her thoughts. He could see into her; _through_ her.

"How afraid?"

"More terrified than I've ever been, Master."

"I see your situation has finally dawned on you," he laughed, "and you have perceived me for what I am." There came a rustle through the darkness and Rowena realized to her horror, he had stood and was coming back towards her again. She scuttled back into the corner, her eyes wide and breath short with paralyzing fear. The monster felt his blood quicken at her response; _nothing_ got him going like fear. His mouth curled reflexively, a smug crescent.

"Please don't hurt me again!" She beseeched breathlessly. The weighty thud of his boots had reached the top of the stairs and was nearly before her. Red ghost lamps opened in the air far above her and she let loose a panicked whine, shrinking as far back from him as possible.

"You should have been afraid from the beginning! It's a shame I couldn't keep my true nature from you longer. I suppose, though, I couldn't always be there and focus to block this growing connection with my mind. You were bound to catch glimpses of the real me, reaching into the depths of my power." More red eyes shot open in the air all around her and she could not suppress the anguished cry of horror. She willed her eyes to shut so she would open them and sit up in her bed. A gloved hand brushed her neck and sent a shudder through her, banishing all hopes of a nightmare.

"Yet, you once trusted me and adored me so, that it seemed bringing you to my side would be simple." This voice was gentle, reminding her of easier times. Sitting in his lap as he lulled her to sleep, willing away her nightmares and worries.

And then it was dark again, and Rowena found herself alone in the entrance to the vampire's chamber. A candle flickered to life on the table by his chair, and there he sat, once again the handsome knight she had been led to see in her dreams. "I remember a little girl who called me a monster, long ago, without truly knowing the meaning of her words. She had no idea what I was, and she seemed to long to trust me, seemed drawn to me. And now that she has fallen for me, and seen my true colors, she wants to run. But she has dallied far too long to turn around and take the path home."

"I know I can't go back," she whispered, still almost too frightened to get the words out. Not by the monster he could be in the dark, but by the abrupt, unnatural calm that washed over her when his "humanity" returned. "but I was deceived, M-"

"You were warned! My master saw to that! Don't place the blame on me, you foolish child!" His tone had once again ventured into furious bass, reverberating impossibly off the crypt walls.

"I wasn't… look, I came down here to apologize," Rowena added tentatively. "I knew you were upset about today, and I wanted you to know that I was just as uncomfortable with the whole situation." With the confidence that he wasn't immediately going to snap out at her, the girl slid forward from her place in the corner, though still curled on the floor.

"_You_ were uncomfortable?" He sounded amused.

"I knew it wasn't right," her eyes lit on the stone beneath her, where a finger drew lazy patterns, "I mean, I know I couldn't **command** you."

"It sounds like you've accepted this." There was a note of conflict in his voice – was he pleased or disappointed? She couldn't seem to tell. The young Hellsing glanced up to see him swirling his glass absently, his eyes trained on her own. Hers quickly jumped to the floor again.

"I… I can't eat human food… I can't even call you by your name anymore, Master. I certainly can't _deny_ what's happened."

"And yet you fear your certain future?" He placed the glass aside and propped his elbows on the armrests, folding his hands before his face.

"You've given me _reason_ to be," she replied. "Will you continue to, or will you give me a chance to apologize? That's all I wanted to do."

"You were afraid before you even came down to see me. Before you even saw me in Master's office today."

"What I saw in my dreams terrified me."

"And you were once again regretting what you've done. Contemplating telling her even." Disgust resonated from both his voice and presence, scraping like knife-points across her skin. "And you know, I find it quite peculiar that when I am very near-" And he was once again curled around her, pressing her down, a shadowy half-form that reached out with dark claws to caress her face. A slow, desirous smile spread across his visage as he drew to her lips, suggesting a kiss. Rowena felt herself respond with a hot flush, her stomach twisting and knotting at his touch. She almost didn't keep herself from kissing those cold lips. Yet he drew back at the last second to whisper, "you want me, _need_ me almost blindly." Those teasing fingers swiped at her lips and the girl felt her heart swell in her chest, afraid it might burst staring into the dark, frozen perfection of his features.

She wanted nothing more than him, knew nothing more than his call. Her hands stretched out, jerky, as if on puppeteer's strings, for the vampire's form. She passed through him inconsequentially and fell to hands and knees on the other side. Devilish laughter fell around her in fiery cascades.

"Yet," he laughed, "Your shame and fear grows proportionally with your distance to me." The words echoed at her back, and she turned to gaze sadly over her shoulder. "I don't understand, because in part you seem to have accepted this... and yet you fear the discovery that is to come, you resist what you are becoming, and you are simultaneously terrified of and infatuated with me." The vampire stood, abruptly ten miles tall from her place on the floor. The silence loomed over her for a moment as she struggled to put words to the babbling fury of emotion within.

"You are very suddenly… a being beyond my comprehension, Master. I had no idea at the start of the bounds of your abilities. I thought you nothing more than a handsome bloodsucker," tears rushed down her face now at the lump growing in her throat, the bewilderment threatening to explode from her, "But to open my eyes and find myself completely at the mercy of a man like you; wholly possessed and swayed by a smile or a scent of blood, my mind an open book…" And the girl shuddered at the slow smile that blossomed on the nosferatu's face.

"You can see that I already own you, pet, all that is left is for you to give yourself over to it. You made the choice long ago, now you must simply own it," his voice was barely a murmur, silken smooth, as he knelt to reach out and hiss into her ear. "Being vulnerable may be frightening at first, but submission can be wonderful if you open your mind to it." And he drew back, smiling inwardly, to see her reaction, hear the gasp as she grasped his meaning.

Ah, beautiful. He had planted the bomb and now could see the charges going off behind her expression, could watch her shift in consciousness as the intense fear of helplessness became forever associated with pleasure. "Your pleasure, I will intimately and intensely understand," he added, leaning over her and grinning jubilantly, "You won't even need to _tell_ me what you want."

Her eyes could not be any wider, her cheeks no deeper scarlet than they were now.

"Masterrr…" she breathed his name in a desperate sigh as he swept her against him, his fingers prying at his collar.

AN: Long update time again. Sorry. The inspiration to continue this finally came, and for all your waiting, you guys get a long chapter! At 4,000+ words and nine full pages on MS word, its longer than most I've posted on this story. Hope you enjoyed it and everything seems natural. I was glad to pick up on that tension we saw in chapter 10 again. That was absolute DYNAMITE to write, fun stuff, and just as fun (read: face-meltingly hot) to read, I hope. Let me know of anything to fix, or what you liked, what you'd like to see in the future. I know where I want to end up with this, and in fact I've been working on the ending/last two chapters of the story, but I'm still not sure how many chapters there will be between 14 and the last two. It seems there is considerable story to tell, though the moment of Rowena's transformation draws perilously near, as do the Nazis. You can bet you'll be seeing some Rip and Schro pretty soon here, since the Dandy made his appearance in an off-the-radar sort of way. 'Til next time, much love. I'll try to be more prompt on this one! :D


	15. Verantwortung

Responsibility

Captain Bernadotte whistled a lively tune as he sat in the locker room, cleaning his gun. The repetitive motions were something he found familiar, relaxing, even. As soon as he finished this piece, he would head out to the shooting range for some practice. The past few weeks had been insanely busy, and he could tell that with the increase in duty, he was getting sloppy. Tired. His sleeping hours were fraught with visions of horror. This monster crap was… getting to him. And it took a lot to bother him. With a satisfied hum, he holstered his second pistol and swept up his rifle.

There's someone out there, he realized as he passed through the first of two sets of doors. Gunfire, one lone thundering pistol, was echoing through the firing range. Someone else was practicing at this time of the day? With these night missions, most soldiers were still asleep in the afternoon. He poked his head through the door, slipping on his ear-guards. One eye scanned the dim space and the shooting cubicles appeared empty. But then he caught a glimpse of a short shadow and tromped over, hoping it was the police girl.

"Can't sleep, Mignone—" he stopped suddenly, and with a chuckle as he saw the shock of black hair and a crutch, he scoffed, "Oh, it's just our little Kraut!"

Rowena's features hardened with mock scorn. "You stupid Frenchman, you scared me! You're lucky I didn't turn this on you!" She brandished a little revolver in her free hand, glittering with scrollwork. "And I _should_, for what you just called me."

Pip laughed, holding up both hands innocently, before deadpanning, "Do you really think you should be pointing that thing at me? After all, I have three guns… and your little six-shooter is empty!"

"Scheiße!" She giggled, her eyes flicking over to the gun. She shrugged it off and reached for the box of bullets on the shelf beside her, attempting to lean on one crutch and clumsily load her gun. The Frenchman reached out a hand to offer assistance, but she ignored it.

"You sure you don't want some help?" He set down the rifle he had slung over his shoulder and stepped towards her. "Don't you normally walk with two of those things anyway? How does Sir Hellsing expect _you_ to handle a gun?"

"I'm fine," her tone dripped annoyance as she loaded the cylinder. She really hated having to fake the cripple act, but her last meal with the vampire the previous evening had left her in need of nothing but her own two legs. It was infuriating to have to carry around the weight of the useless gear. Yet she was nowhere near clear of her "illness". She still seemed weak – sloughing off the last of her puppy fat and gaining strength but not muscle on her diet of blood. If she suddenly moved like a healthy person, she would be expected to make a show of eating. Dine with Integra. Especially after today's episode.

"I handle things with my crutches all the time, and Integra expects me to handle a gun like any other person," she finished loading her pistol and pushed the cylinder into place with a loud echoing clack, "the best I can". She glared up at the captain. "Look." With the gun holstered under her arm, she leaned against the cubicle and turned the crank to tighten first one knee, then the other. With a gleeful grin, the girl flung aside her last crutch and turned stiffly to face the target, pulling on her ear-guards. She pulled off six bull's-eyes this time. Funny how much it helped to be well-fed.

There was a hand on her shoulder that turned her around. She could see the frenchman's mouth moving, his eyes wide, excited O's, but until she pulled away the huge padded earphones, she heard nothing.

"-I heard your shooting sucked! What was Mignonette talking about?" He babbled on about what Seras had reported, what had been passed through the Geese grapevine after Rowena's poor shooting practice yesterday. His eyes kept darting to the target and back as he spoke.

The young Hellsing blushed, but cut over him, "I was really nervous and unsteady, yeah, but…. I - I've been practicing all afternoon. I can't afford to be a bad shot, not with what's coming."

"Have you heard?" He was open, eager, his form shot with adrenaline suddenly.

"Nazis," one solemn word fell from her mouth like stone. She was steely, her eyes full of disgust. "Monstrous cowardly traitors to my heritage," she spat, feeling a second wave of revulsion wash over her. It was, however, not nearly as strong as she'd felt when Integra had given her the full brief that morning.

Sir Penwood, Sir Irons, and Alucard were all gathered around Integra, in heated discussion when Rowena shouldered through the great double doors. Her entrance created an immediate staring silence on the part of the two Knights, but Integra interjected, "Gentlemen, this is my cousin and successor, Rowena Lucent Siegel Hellsing."

"Richard's daughter?" Sir Penwood gasped, then vainly attempted to cover his unpleasant surprise.

"Yes, Penwood, and I can assure you, she is nothing like her father," Integra sternly corrected. _- every inch her father_, Alucard mockingly spoke over his master in Rowena's mind. The girl felt herself scowl too late to hide it and the man Integra had called Penwood blushed deeply, mumbling apology.

The blonde stepped around the crowd and brought the men over with a sweeping hand. "Rowena, Sir Penwood and Sir Irons, two of my closest comrades-in-arms and two of the most powerful men in England." The Knights bowed politely and shook her hand, but the younger Hellsing knew… could see the doubt in their eyes when they looked upon her frailty. Her eyes darted over to Integra, and then over her shoulder to meet the monster's gleaming lamps.

_They sense something is wrong but they don't know what, pet. They think it's your… infirmity that makes them so nervous._

Rowena kept her face steady, "Integra, you called me?"

"Yes," she swept to her desk again, which was littered with documents, photographs, a map. "I mentioned our current engagement with you yesterday, but I'm going to explain it in full because you have been completely left out of the loop. We are expecting a large-scale attack in the near future and you may be called to lead with little or no warning." The elder Hellsing pushed her plush desk chair around and offered it to the young woman. Rowena sat graciously, playing the part and folding her crutches across her lap.

The monster across the desk leaned into the circle of lamplight, his white features thrown into sharp relief as he began, "Millenium is a splinter group of Nazis from the Second World War. Occultists, some hailing from the Thule Society, others simply fanatics who would stop at nothing to conquer their foes. They were attempting to reverse-engineer powerful vampires by scientific means. They were incubating something when Walter and I found them." Alucard leaned back into the shadow, crossing his arms before himself. "Fifty-five years ago, we utterly destroyed them. Their leader was dead, from what we last heard. Yet the Major is back, crazy as ever." His grin cut through the shadow. "And he's coming for us."

"Revenge?" Rowena spat the word with a surprising amount of venom, and to her surprise she found herself trembling. "They want revenge for losing the war?"

"Their goal is destruction, plain and simple, young Master." The monster hissed.

"Blutverräter!" she growled, "If I must take up your mantle, Integra, not a one will survive. My pride would not allow it."

_Your pride? Hn, didn't know you had any._ The vampire played her nerves with his taunt, a sadistic virtuoso violinist. _You certainly didn't last night when you were begging me-_

Rowena cleared her throat loudly and bodily turned away from the vampire, pointedly ignoring him. She had missed a full sentence (most likely affirmation) from Integra, but played it off as nothing and turned her attention to the brief.

"Right now we have a situation on our hands," Sir Penwood plucked a photograph out of many on the desk. The deck of a ship. "The aircraft carrier Eagle has lost radio contact, and we assume it's _them_. Photographs of the deck show something interesting." Irons shuffled through the photos and pulled out a second. A giant, bloody swastika marred its once pristine surface, an obscene stain. In the center was a barely discernable yellow dot.

"What's-?" Rowena leaned closer, but was cut off by Irons.

"We suspect it is a Millenium agent. It's taken down several of our surveillance units already, with no artillery fire from the ship itself; only a single shot was reported."

"How is that possible!" The young Hellsing scoffed, turning an incredulous eye on her cousin, but a chuckle from Alucard drew her away.

"Young Master, you have barely begun to learn of what _our kind_ is capable!" The monster's smile glittered with mischief, and Rowena practically gaped at his bold words. Her heart suddenly thundered and then slowed with terror at his admission, and yet, none of the others looked at the vampire. They were all staring at her with concern.

_Oh God, they know, they know what he means as well as I do… They know I'm a monster!_ She spun with dizziness and nausea, and Integra leaned down, catching her cousin's shoulder with a hand. "Rowena, are you feeling alright? You've gone bone white!"

"I- I don't…" she took a huge gasping breath, suddenly bloodless and weak, simultaneously feeling like she was going to vomit and die. The little frame was overcome with shaking and she bleated, "… don't feel right." She quaked to her feet, but no sooner was she standing than she fell bonelessly to the floor. The crack of her skull hitting stone resounded through the office.

"God in Heaven!" Integra cursed as she knelt down, "she's still not clear of whatever made her sick before! It's been weeks!" The steely woman softened with concern as she lifted Rowena's head from the stone floor with a gentle hand, feeling for fractures that weren't there. "Gentlemen, if you'll pardon the interruption, Rowena needs rest."

Irons and Pennwood nodded, their brows also knitted with worry, though more for the future of England than for the girl. They retreated from the room. "Alucard," Integra snapped at her servant, "take her to her room, I will summon Walter to attend to her."

"Yes, my Master," he swept over and knelt down across from her, meeting Integra's eyes with a smug little smile and a pause, "Did it not occur to you, Master, that the blood donation you forced upon her yesterday would do nothing to ameliorate her already fragile health?"

Without another word, the vampire swept her up and passed through the door, leaving Integra to fume in silence.

Footsteps and gentle swaying woke the young Hellsing, and she found herself clutched in great red arms, her nose tickled by the end of the vampire's cascade of black hair.

"You read so very much into my teasing, little human," came the amused voice rumbling from above her. A quick peek around the hall told Rowena they were very near her room.

She felt herself burning with fury, now that she and the vampire were alone, "Why did you say those things to me, you great big jerk?"

The swaying stopped abruptly and there was a dead silence. Rowena couldn't see his face but knew it was most likely not a pleasant expression. The quailing in her guts was quite confirmed when she found herself pressed to the wall, centimeters from dangerous narrow slits and an animal snarl. "I'll say whatever I please to you! I rather like to watch you squirm, you little brat!" His livid eyes met hers with challenge, daring her to speak out again.

And met with his rage-twisted face, his huge hand fisting in the collar of her shirt, his endless bigness hunched over her, she could only squeak, "You're so cruel!"

"_You_ are a disrespectful whelp, and I will say it again: you have barely begun to learn of what I am capable," he hissed in return, savoring the little gasp that caught in her throat. Before she could respond further, he swung her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and rounded the corner into her room.

And there stood Walter, arms akimbo.

"My, my! What was that all about? Sir Alucard, might I ask why you are roughing dear Miss Hellsing about, carrying her like luggage?" The butler tried to look shocked, but could not hide the tiny tilt to his lips, not to Alucard's eye. The monster, however, made no comment.

Rowena pawed her way up to peek over the vampire's head. She gasped, then broke into nervous laughter. "Oh, Walter, the monster and I fight all the time, it was nothing really. He just played a mean trick on me."

"She started it," the monster grumbled low, trying to keep his internal grin from showing on his face. _Interesting, very interesting, Angel of Death._

"Well, that's no way to talk to your young Mistress, nor treat her, Alucard, don't you think?" The monster abruptly adjusted the girl on his shoulder so she could not look at Walter, and she gave an audible 'harumph'.

"Forgive me, Walter, for schooling her in manners, and please forgive me, as well, young Master." She only repeated her disgruntled noise.

"I don't think such rough play is in order when the young Mistress has fallen ill and possibly injured herself," he chided, shaking his finger in mock concern, and then breaking into gentle laughter. "Let's have no more of this, or I shall have to be a tattletale!"

"Oh, no, Walter, please don't tell on me!" The nosferatu rolled his eyes and placed Rowena on her bed much more gently than she expected.

"No worries, I remember how a certain other young miss fought with her vampire when she was younger. And you two manage not to kill each other; I trust all will be well when I return with tea, a thermometer, and a cold compress for Miss Rowena's head?"

"Of course, Walter!" Rowena smiled at him, laying back on the pillows. The monster looked after the old man as he turned for the door. As soon as the Angel of Death was gone, he turned a terrible scowl on the girl. Little lips turned down in a frown, as she mouthed, "I'm sorry, Master."

Walter stopped and listened for a moment a few paces out of sight, before smiling, broad and knowing, and striding for the kitchens.

"You are so terrified of discovery that you fainted, pet," the vampire scorned, "I now realize just how weak you really are." His eyes slid over the hardware on her legs as she struggled vainly for some sort of retort.

"Well, I-… I-" She couldn't look at him, her eyes clouded with what the monster knew were tears. Her voice was verging on that annoying quaver, and yet he would relish the tears when they came.

"Perhaps I should have left you as you were. You would have been better off as a weak, crippled human than a weak, crippled vampire."

She gasped and the first of the tears spilled over. Alucard could smell them, he didn't even need to look. The offense and pain in her mind hit him like a wall, yet he bathed in her suffering. "What are you saying!" she practically brayed. The monster's gaze remained coldly set on the leg braces and he traced a gloved hand over the steel and leather that bound her.

"These… these props. You will never lose them."

"You said… you said this would make me stronger," Rowena whispered brokenly. "More lies!"

"You will become stronger in body," the monster turned his intense stare on her, "And yet, I fear you will carry the crutches, the braces, the cripple… in here." A large thumb brushed her forehead and gloved fingers caught in her hair. Alucard lifted her chin to force her tear-stained gaze to meet his own.

"Throw your cowering, fainting weakness aside and accept your actions and their results as an adult. I will not abide this behavior when you serve me."

"S-serve?" She balked at the word, her mind filled with ringing, harsh words from the previous evening.

"What do you think 'Master' means?" He growled dangerous and low, "What do you think 'slave' means?" He pounced down against her, large torso pressing her back into the plush of her bed, and Alucard bared his fangs threateningly.

_Helpless_. The word echoed like a sigh through Rowena's mind, and she fell pliant beneath him, her wide eyes swimming with fear and arousal. "Master," she murmured as her hands sought out his chest.

"Mmm, you seem to understand well enough… " the beast chuckled, leaning in to ghost soft lips and sharp fangs over her neck, her mouth. "Integra will be calling me away tonight to kill our friend on the Eagle, but I will return soon, and then you will truly know your Master. Drink."

Alucard pressed her to a hastily-made wound in his neck for a few brief moments, before vanishing altogether. Rowena fell back into the covers with a whimper, running a wanton tongue over her lips. He left her with a lingering whisper, "Grow stronger for me…"

Suddenly, clarity. Rowena's eyes fell to the revolver which lay holstered on her nightstand. Without another thought, she swept it up and buckled it on. She had a lot to work on, and not much time. The firing range was a good place to start.

Finally, another update! I seem to be taking a long time to get this part written, but there's a lot more to come. It's funny because I'm writing waaaaaaay ahead right now, but not the most current stuff I need to be working on. This one is pretty recently "off-the-press" so if you find any errors let me know. Also, for your information, this chapter jumps forward and then backward in time in the same day, if you didn't catch what I did here. Rowena does some growing here, for once! ;D I'm excited to see this (and Rowena) progress again, and can't wait to bring you guys more! "Blutverraeter" means "blood traitors", by the way. Let me know what you think!


	16. Boshafter Engel

Mischievous Angel

Gunfire rang through Rowena, and though the headset protected her ears, she could feel it rumbling in her bones. The Frenchman had turned away after wishing her best of luck, offering her assistance which she politely refused. She needed the solitude right then, her mind echoing Master's words:

_I now realize just how weak you really are… you will carry the crutches, the braces in here… you fear the discovery that comes, and you resist what you are becoming…_

For all the resistance she had put up in the beginning, she had fallen back on weakness each time she had been faced with a challenge, had given in, had plead and groveled and cried. A tearful scowl darkened the young Hellsing's features; she really had internalized her weakness, her fear… had willfully blinded herself to the truth…

_You made the choice long ago, now you must simply own it… accept your actions and their results as an adult… Grow stronger for me…_

She WAS terrified of what was coming, but regardless, it had been her decision to lean on the monster. And it was her own terror at discovery that had dug her even deeper, had put her here at this crossroads. It hit her then, that she clung to her fear like a crutch, even now, even when her limbs coursed with strength.

She was no longer burdened with the physical weakness of her past years, but if she didn't learn to own up to her mistakes, she would be no better off. She would have to face Integra with strength and humility, would have to prove her worth in the face of impending disaster, even as a monster. Even if it meant her end, she would throw aside her fear and soldier through this. Rowena Lucent Siegel Hellsing would no longer be a victim of circumstance nor a cripple. She would accept the fate she had chosen.

* * *

Her dinner waited for her on her bedside tray. She grimaced at it and shoved it aside impatiently. With that, she made a show of hobbling to the door and locked it behind her, collapsing against the inside with a sigh. _Who am I kidding?_ She thought miserably, _I'm too much a coward to make a good vampire._ _ I'm too much a coward to even reveal myself to Integra…_

She began ripping away in fury at the leather straps and buckles that imprisoned her legs, that suffocated her. Her little fingers fumbled, clumsy with anxiety and sharpening with rage, and by the time she pulled her legs free, she stood and flung them across the chamber with a shriek of disgust. "I HATE YOU!" she growled unthinkingly, not sure if she was speaking to the hardware, or herself, or Alucard, or all three.

Careless of the great dents she had left in the wall, she stomped to the tray of food and continued in her crashing storm to the bathroom, where she disposed of the stinking plate. She proceeded to generally make a mess, unsure how else to vent the maelstrom of conflicting emotion which threatened to overtake her. A hasty arm swept everything from the counter and she leaned almost against the mirror, staring deep into her own eyes, searching for any tinge of red. Yet they were still emerald green and human as ever.

"How much longer?" she murmured bitterly, then pulled back a lip to examine her teeth. "How much longer can I possibly have?"

_How much do you think you have?_ Came the whispering voice in the back of her mind, _Look deep inside yourself, in your heart you know._

The Hellsing's eyes flicked around the room, over the mess, but she was still alone in her wrecked bathroom. _Master?_ She questioned silently, and his response was instantaneous.

_I am conversing with Master Integra, and I shall soon leave for the night. Come, cease your worries, close your eyes and sleep. I have many things to show you._

She fell limp over the sink, _But how long will it be before I can't hide anymore?_

_A few days at most_, the beast answered curtly, _but you do not even know what it means to be Nosferatu, so how can you say you will make a poor one?_

The girl felt her stomach sinking, thoughts of Integra's pistol whirring wordlessly in her mind. _Now is not the time to tell her. You shall wait until the time is right,_ the deep voice vibrated through her bones. And before she could form the question, the monster had her answer, _I will tell you when the time is right, my pet. Now you need to sleep, there is something you need to see._

_

* * *

_

Walter knocked at the wide portal, and at the sound of Integra's voice, entered.

"Is Rowena taken care of?"

"Quite, Ma'am. I made sure she was tucked into bed with a cup of tea and a cold compress. She seemed to be doing much better once she laid down."

"Alucard will be here in a moment, I need to mull things over with you in the meantime, Walter." She beckoned him, crushing the stump of her cigar on a nearby ashtray. Integra thoughtlessly chewed on her lip, distraught. The reports laid out before her discussed the military's failed attempts to approach the Eagle. Walter stood over her shoulder, wordlessly reading, a tiny smirk growing on his lips.

"Walter, what do you think?" Integra sighed at last

"It's a good decoy, and an _obvious_ one," he chuckled, "and the more time it consumes, the better it serves them."

"But we cannot disregard it," Integra turned to gaze up at him, "to do so would be dangerous. And yet, if we approach it, we're attacked."

"Nothing can get close with those 'magic bullets'…" The butler put a thoughtful hand to his chin.

"Still, the monsters cannot get out – surrounded by the sea, the vampires there are trapped…"

"I doubt they will leave their floating fortress idle for very long," Walter countered, "so the question is, how do we get OUR monsters out there, with anti-aircraft, CIWS, and magic bullets?"

"A heavily armored warship?" Integra posed. They both paused and shot gazes up as the vampire ghosted through the wall a few feet to their left.

"That would take too long," Walter shot the first suggestion down.

"Perhaps something faster? A small high-speed vessel?" The vampire finally chimed in.

"It'd never withstand the hail of weapons fire," the old man retorted. _One step closer,_ he smiled inwardly, his face impassive.

...

_Deep within the bowels of the Deus Ex Machina, a phone rang. A sly voice hissed into the Major's ear, "As I figured, the beast is doing our work for us. On all accounts, we must destroy Integra. When she dies, Hellsing has no future."_

"_And the heir?" the Major grinned so wide it seemed his face might split._

"_Has been refusing food for weeks; video evidence shows her both walking without aid and flushing food down the WC. Audio recording has her calling the family pet 'Master'."_

"_While the cat's away…" the Major chuckled, and it was echoed from the other end of the line. "And as you previously theorized, you think the enhancement provided by the Hellsings will crumble with the collapse of the bond?"_

"_It cannot be said for certain, but it is highly possible it will weaken him and give us an advantage in his destruction. It was that slim chance that motivated me to bring her here, Major. I remember very well the monster's dalliance with Integra's mother: how dangerous that was for the family. However, if he does not weaken, he will never be bound as a weapon again."_

"_He will fall regardless," the boyish voice snickered, "Oh, and Walter, remember to suggest the drop from above. Heil Hitler!"_

_The former Angel of Death replied in kind and pushed a button on his tiny earpiece. He took one last sly glance around the deserted kitchens, noting Integra's page blinking on the wall interface, before turning and abandoning the tea tray on the counter. All appearances of looking after the young Hellsing had been thrown aside._

...

"Aircraft would never make it, you know that!" The director snapped back, pushing her fringe back from her face and fisting a frustrated hand in her hair.

"Ah, but what about approach from directly above?"

"Hello? Anti-aircraft missiles and magic bullets, Walter!"

"Ah, but if we approached fast enough…. I believe there is one particular craft we have at our disposal that could do the job!" The butler gave her a knowing smile. Both her eyes and the monster's lit up. Alucard glided closer, seeming to vibrate with excitement.

"Oh, Walter! The Blackbird is a wonderful idea," he crowed, his beastly voice oddly childlike, a little boy ecstatic at the prospect of a new toy.

"It's crazy enough that it might work," Integra admitted, "and honestly, I don't have any better ideas."

"I'll make the necessary calls, Ma'am," The retainer chirped, and bustled off on business.

Integra stood from her desk, both hands firmly planted as she met the monster's eyes with a level gaze, everything about her screaming authority, "Alucard, destroy these thieves and return the Eagle to her rightful owners!"

The creature slithered into a low bow, his eyes angled up at her mischievously as he hissed, "Yes, my Master…"

He turned for the door, but just as he phased through the wood, he paused and added as an afterthought, "Oh, speaking of 'rightful owners', Master, I believe I have something of yours… It's nothing significant, but when this is through remind me to return it to you….

Something peculiar fluttered in her chest as the monster's chuckle receded into nothing.

/

A note: I have had a few requests, and I hope this time I have tried to fulfill them. More Integra this time, as well as some Walter. Also, some more twists and !exposition!. I was so excited to write this one. Also, **I promise, you will see her dance**, several times, and it will be epic. I didn't mean she would literally walk on crutches forever, just that she had this harmful internalized weakness... mental crutches if you will. Let me know how I'm doing and if I confused any of you.

Much love, Megan


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